Melting Starz

Singapore's Election 2011 - Polling day

2011-05-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

Now is 12.08am. Today will be the day to decide for ourselves and vote for the future we want to see in Singapore. These ten days have been the most amazing days in Singapore's political history. 82 out of 87 seats were contested for in GRCs and SMCs except for Tanjong Pagar. Rallies are drawing huge crowds of people and information transmission through various media was overwhelming.

Election 2011 was very different from my virgin experience 5 years ago. Then, I was only in my early twenties. Living in a stable and safe country like Singapore have blunted my ability to question why things work and why things don't work. I have never wondered about how the government works neither did I know anything about the opposition. I vaguely remembered going to the polling and making a cross on the obvious choice which most people made. There was no question on my choice. I was a fresh graduate starting to work in the society and I was a happy citizen.

5 years have passed. I went through many changes in my personal life. I got married and I bought a HDB flat. I went through the economic crisis and I lost my job to restructuring. I was one of the lucky ones who managed to get a new flat and the prices were still not as high compared to now. Still, it was with the help of my in-laws to get the down payment as my husband and I were young and could not afford. I managed to find a permanent job again after a year of contract work. Along with many people, I am very unhappy with how Singapore is progressing and very supportive of the opposition parties as they seemed to address what Singaporeans really need. I was reading online articles and watching youtube videos to get more information on the contesting candidates. It really sounds promising to me. With most of my friends posting positive feedback on the opposition, it seemed to me that this is the way to go forward.

However, after watching the rally broadcast on CNA earlier on, I had this question in my mind, is our opposition good enough to combat the future issues that Singapore going to face? Are they able to handle international issues rather than just focusing on the domestic issues? I really wondered and started to worry. Honestly speaking, I would love to have them in the Parliament to have alternative voices to address for our concerns and I do believe that we need it.

On the other hand, it seemed to me that they are so focused on the domestic issues that are bothering Singaporeans and using it as their main argument to tackle on the flaws of the government. What about the international issues? Are they taking into consideration of the impact of their ideas being introduced into the Parliament?

Many large corporations are happy with the government policies here and this is the reason why they came here to set up companies and branches which in turns provide jobs to the locals. Yes, the competition is stiff now as we have to compete with the foreigners who are coming here to work. Judging from a company's perspective, this is good as they will be able to get people with the relevant skills that they need given such a diversified market. But if the policies are changed and become unfavorable to these corporations, will they pack up and move elsewhere? What is going to happen to people like me and you? Are we looking at the nitty gritty issues that we lost sight of the big picture?

Singapore, no matter how successful it is now, continues to be an island that is vulnerable to regional and international issues. I hope we will be able to elect candidates with foresight and capability to form a good team to lead Singapore regardless of what parties they belong to.

It's a tough decision to make. Vote wisely! I think tomorrow night everyone including me will be checking eagerly for the result. Good night~

work cow work horse

2008-05-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

the title perfectly explains my work! now every morning i struggles to wake up and reach work before 630am and my work ends around 6pm... nearly or sometimes exceeds 12 hours everyday from monday to friday... what do i think about the job? mixed feelings... the job scope is okay and the workload is too much... i have two colleagues whom i feel comfortable talking to... most of the others are neutral to me... few of them whom i dont really like... no job is perfect! i guess i just have to learn to love my job... at least it's rewarding in the practical sense... but i kept hearing from people there that there is NO bonus?! really cant believe this... even his cousin who moved from here to next door received a 3 mth bonus... i seriously believe we deserve a bonus for working so hard... :( everyday is work work work and weekend is sleep sleep sleep... NO LIFE!?

my blog looks so abandoned now... been trying so hard to update my japan trip which is not so updated at all... :s anyway i have developed the pics... so tt when my frens come over, they can finally see my masterpieces lar... and din have the time to post my renovation pics too... all of a sudden, he and his brothers already moved in... now getting more comfortable in the house i hope... i am having holiday till next tues... which is a total of four days... but but but going malaysia tomorrow with my mum and sis... quite happy to go back... wanna take picture of the old house before it gets tear down... and give a treat to my mum's siblings... they are very nice people and treat us very well... now i am getting better financially, i feel like to treat them! and my sis wanna go facial... my mum and i also going for bloodtest... i am really afraid my health is getting bad... always feeling tired and having headaches EVERYDAY... so torturing...

its time for bed... after holiday, everything goes back to reality! *FIGHT!!!!*

ma-ke-ta-ku-nai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ( ^^)v

its been a long time...

2008-03-20T16:29:00.002+08:00

since last time i blogged, many things have been happening...

1. i found a job near my home - already worked four months there... time really flies... really hate the first two months there... it has been very exhausting for the mind... not getting used to the environment... trying to understanding the culture over there... now, its more exhausting for the body... working for very long hours... waking up very early in the morning is the worst~

2. we already received the keys to our new house... after running around various places for so many weekends, we finally decided the contractor... now the house is being renovated at high speed... haha probably be done in 3 weeks time...

3. i continued my japanese class this year... but have been going to class late every week and already skipped twice since the start of year... :s hope to be more hardworking in studying...

4. planning a trip to bangkok again in june with sy, yj and yj's fren... it is indeed something to look forward to... for a crazy shopping trip~ hahahahaha the previous time i went was end of the year and bangkok was faced with bombing incidents... hope this time will be shun shun li li...

hope to update the pics next time... been very lazy to update even the japan trip pics still not done yet?!?

結婚の意味

2007-12-29T11:40:00.000+08:00

結婚の意味を教えてください。

新しい家を買うために、結婚するのは意味がないよね。

彼は本当にプロポーズしたくなかったかも。私が言った。

”どうしてプロポーズもしないのに、先に家を買うの？”

だから、プロポーズしてくれたんだ。

テレビでプロポーズの番組が出ていて、あの女たちは幸せですね。男はいろいろな準備をして、ロマンティックのプロポーズをあげた。

私、たぶん一番失敗な女です。

最近けんかしちゃった。毎日、同僚の前でも、家族の前でも笑っていたけど、寝るときは千尋鬼塚の歌を聞いて寝るまで泣いていた。彼に嫌われてしまったので、彼に電話しても切られた。

”あなたと話したくない。”　携帯のメッセージ。

こんな二人はもうすぐ結婚する？信じられない。

結婚しても、長く続けますか？

私、何してる？

幸せになりたい。

失敗

2007-12-29T11:27:00.000+08:00

”ねぇ、あなたが来る前に、このチームに新しい人が入ることは全然知らなかったんだ。席もないし、パソコンもないし、うちのチームのスペースも狭いので、どうすればいい？このチームに入りたいの？”

適当な答えは何だろう？”私はどうしてこの会社に入ったの？”

私のセイじゃない。

life

2007-12-27T21:23:00.000+08:00

it has been very tough for me. i have to admit i am not a very sensitive person. Now that i have landed myself in this kind of situation, i dun foresee how i can carry on my life or even pass every single day without having to worry about my own safety. i just want to live a normal life, better still hide in a corner and do my work without having to interact with others. are they genuinely nice? are they pretending? are they gossiping or complaining me as a newbie who knows nothing and gets into their way? i dunno... sometimes i wonder if i would get to hear their true feelings like in dramas where people would accidentally overheard other people saying bad things about themselves especially in toilets. nah, of cuz that did not happen to me. these people are probably too clever to do this kind of stupid actions. am i thinking too much? i am not very happy. in fact,this is making me feeling very terrible everyday. i drag myself to wake up every morning. if not for the pressing issues i have right now, i would not force me, myself and i to carry on doing this. i am feeling slightly depressed initially. now i think i am getting more and more depressed to the extent i started to think of the simplest solution. it's quicksand. it's dragging my limbs and i have no wish to struggle. times like this, i start to hate the world. start to hate every single thing about life. like a rebellious teenager. nothing, not even my favourite songs are going to make me feel better. listening to chihiro onitsuka's songs make me feel worse cuz i can feel the helplessness in the depressing songs. i am worried. i think one day i will be swallowed by my own worries. is it the end of the world when people are swallowed by their own worries? i guess no one can really understand what i am saying.

6 Nov 07 - Kagoshima

2007-12-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

Train ticket to Kagoshima

The next morning, I woke up super early to check out and went to Hakata Station to get my train ticket... I was super excited because I knew that suyu was also on her way to meet me at Kagoshima. So long never see her already... Yes, I tried very hard not to get lost! A blur me was walking around the train station because there are two areas which sell Shinkansen tickets but I don't seem to find my destination "Kagoshima".... How? Open your mouth and ask~! hahaha So I was supposed to buy my ticket at first level not second level... Successfully found the place and went to buy my ticket... I tried asking in English because I felt very unsure how to go about asking in Japanese but the man don't seem to understand my question... :s Forced to use my broken Japanese again... Reserved seats were taken already so I only had the choice to buy non-reserved seat... (tip: if you are going to buy long distance train ticket, buy in advance i.e. 1 day before the trip... you would not like the idea of standing for so long!) But I was at least 30 minutes early... I went in and to my horror, one long flight of staircase! Dragged my super duper heavy luggage bit by bit... So paiseh... There was a group of teenagers who seemed to be on an outing... One by one, they walked past me and I was still dragging the luggage... The best thing I love about the train stations is vending machines and food stores... =) Grabbed something to eat and bought my favourite juice...

Despite being in the non-reserved seats cabin, I managed to find a seat... the train had a lugguage compartment right in front so I deposited my luggage there and sat down comfortably... announcements were made in Japanese, English, Chinese, Korean... Don't have to worry about not understanding the announcements... heehee Enjoying the scenery outside when my ears suddenly picked up the announcement - "Train carriages from 1 to 5 are going to Kumamoto while carriages from 6 to ...." Huh?!?!?! You mean the train is going to split?? A very nervous me was looking around frantically for the carriage number... I dun want to be going somewhere I dunno... :s Luckily i was in the correct carriage...

Note: www.hyperdia.com is one of the most useful websites for travellers to plan their japan trip... as everyone knows, trains in japan run on fixed schedules... so better check everything before you go! According to my schedule, I have to change train at Shinyatsushiro to take a shinkansen to Kagoshima... When the train reached the station, all the people were rushing out to the train at the next platform... I also forgot to check and blindly dragged my luggage to alight... The train started soon after I found a seat... *OMG!* Where is the train going to? I asked the person sitting next to me and heng, the train was going to Kagoshima... -_-"

When i arrived at the station, *lost* again... but never mind! The golden rule is - Follow the crowd! hahaha I was so happy when I saw Suyu outside waiting for me... Yeah! We never meet up for so long already... At least one year plus... Went to deposit my luggage in the lockers conveniently outside the station (Why we can't have this in Singapore?) and off we go to the most famous sightseeing place in Kagoshima --> Sakurajima!

Busy life....

2007-12-04T17:30:00.000+08:00

How do i put watermark on photos? Haiz, i am so busy and he is too busy to teach me as well so i haven got the time to go and watermark my photos before putting them in my blog... cant wait to share my japan trip photos but i guess it has to be temporarily postponed till i learn to watermark and have the time to sit in front of my computer to do it... :s

Some updates about my life... my mum was hospitalised a fortnight ago... she was having a fever and her body was swollen all over... just gotten back from a post check up only to find that she is suffering from SLE (lupus)/Sjogren syndrome... Read the articles online and apparently it is quite serious... she was quite worried about it as one of our distant relatives actually passed away last year due to lupus... she kept talking abt her godsister who suddenly discovered her lung cancer last year... my god aunt was in last stage of cancer when she was diagnosed with cancer and left us soon after that... but i believed that my mum will get well... my sis said we discovered it quite early... with medications, the symptoms can be kept under control... everything will be okay... this dec, she will be going for a holiday in China... doc says she can be well again within 6 t0 12 mths...

About myself... i have officially ended my jobless life... started working somewhere near my place... yes, my workplace is 3 bus stops away from my house... too far to walk there but very fast by bus... hahaha all my colleagues are living far from tampines... :p still sitting around and staring into space sometimes... even about to fall asleep at times... which i feel extremely guilty... but what to do? got nothing to do mar... heehee :p cuz i am still waiting and waiting for instructions to be given from above... tentatively i will try to find things to do... :s anything so that i can help my colleagues and also to kill TIME... i even get to off work very early these few days... enjoy the luxury now because i tink my life is going to be terrible next time... judging from the hours my colleagues are working... hope to stay with this grp of ppl i am attached to now... because they are very very nice ppl... =) one even commented that i am a quiet girl... yes, i am very quiet because i am not used to the environment yet... ahahaha

that's all for today... will be going for tuition soon... shld i continue teaching? i am worried that next time i might have to commit till late hours which means tuition is almost impossible... :s will ask for yj's opinions... i like my tuition kid and enjoy teaching him... but i wonder how i can juggle between work, tuition, jap class, renovation, wedding plans next yr? can i freeze the free time i have now and credit it to next yr? how i wish~

5 Nov 07 - Fukuoka (Part IV)

2007-11-13T16:02:00.000+08:00

The shopping areas in Fukuoka. On travel books, they often said Fukuoka is great for shopping. I believe that it is true because all the shopping areas are so big~!

Tenjin Underground Shopping Arcade

This is one part of Tenjin underground shopping arcade. I entered into a small shopping centre and its basement is connected to Tenjin underground shopping arcade. Along the walkway, there are many little shops. Feels like citylink but it is definitely more confusing. At least citylink is just a long stretch easier to shop. For Tenjin underground shopping arcade, there are several links to shopping centres that are above it. So it's quite difficult to walk around if you are not sure of the places. :s I merely did window shopping because my luggage was already too heavy for me to carry to Miyazaki and I was really unsure whether I will have enough cash to last me the coming 2 weeks plus.

Daimaru

Mitsukoshi

The shopping malls such as Daimaru and Mitsukoshi in Tenjin are really big. Comparing to Singapore, the shopping malls had a different feel. Maybe it's because of the decor inside. Feels very high class to me and their things are really expensive! :| I wandered around, wanted to wait for the yadai to start opening. Yadai are food stalls which only opened at night (like food stalls in Pasar Malam) and some of these stalls are recommended by travel guides too! But I waited till I was too hungry. In the end, I went back to Hakata Station and ate curry udon there. *Oishii*

I went back to the hotel quite early. It had been a tiring day as I did not have enough sleep and was tortured by the cramps. I enjoyed walking alone and going to the different places with the help of friendly people in Fukuoka. Next time I want to come back again to visit those places which I missed out. Marinoa city, Hawkstown, Kawabata etc.

5 oct 07 - Fukuoka (part III)

2007-11-13T14:30:00.000+08:00

Outside Tochoji

Tochoji

This is one of the famous temple, Tochoji. This temple holds the wooden statue of Kannon, God of Mercy with 1000 hands as well as the largest wooden statue of Buddha. Unfortunately, I did not get to see the Buddha. I like the picture that I took outside Tochoji though. The one with colourful lanterns!

Kushida Shrine

Kushida Shrine was built during the Heian Period. This was the first shrine I visited. It was a sunny weekday with little visitors. I like the feel of walking into the shrine. So peaceful. I was so excited to do the traditional visiting procedures! First, wash your hands at the side where water is provided. But I have not figured out which hand to use first. Then when I wanted to make a little prayer, I observed how people do it. However, I realised that not everyone does it the same way? They seemed to do it differently. So that's how I decided to do it. Don't know whether this is correct though.

1. Throw a coin into the box
2. Pull the rope and shake the bell (if any)
3. Clap your hands twice
4. Close your eyes and say your wish
5. Bow sincerely

After visiting three places, I went back to check in and rest. My da yi ma had been giving me such a hard time that I lost my mood to continue my tour. :s Passed by Family Mart (I absolutely love Japan's convenience stores!) and gotten myself some sushi and a drink. I even took an afternoon nap. Having regained more energy to walk, I decided to go Fukuoka Tower. Well, it's strongly recommended by Peiwen! I took a bus from Hakata Kotsu Centre and the ride took about 20 minutes.

Fukuoka Tower

Fukuoka tower is BEAUTIFUL. It's one of my favourite building in Japan. =) When I alight from the bus stop, I got lost again. I was inside one of the TV station building so I approached the receptionist and found out that Fukuoka Tower is right next to it. It was a windy day. Much more windy than Singapore. So windy that I felt like I can't walk properly. I was quite worried because I saw the trees shaking violently. At last, I entered the tower. By the way, it's good to alert and pick up tourist brochures. I did that in Fukuoka Airport and got myself a discount coupon for this Fukuoka Tower entrance fee. Small discounts make big difference~! I was served very politely by this lift lady. Inside the lift was a Japanese man with his wife and daughter. We went up the tower together. The lift lady was giving an introduction of Fukuoka Tower. Yes, it is in Japanese. :s

Views from Fukuoka Tower

At the top of the Fukuoka Tower, you can walk one round to get a 360 degree full view of Fukuoka and its bay. I love the sea view! From the pictures, you can see the man-made breakwater constructed to prevent the waves from eroding the beaches. As you can see, Fukuoka has many buildings constructed tall and clustered together. City-like compared to the places I went in Miyazaki.

5 oct 07 - Fukuoka (part II)

2007-11-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

Hakata Green Hotel

This was the hotel that i stayed for one night in Fukuoka. It was not expensive (~SGD70) and I like the room even though it was small. Very well equipped with LCD tv, fridge, a small hotplate to boil water! I know a lot of people have the impression that accomodation in Japan is expensive. But if you don't mind staying at small hotels, or even pensions and hostels, you can get cheap deals! =)

Hakata Kotsu Centre

Hakata Kotsu Centre is like the bus interchange in Singapore. I am very amazed that the buses actually drive into the building. On the first level are buses that travel around Fukuoka. Second level and third level are alighting and boarding points for highway buses respectively. Highway buses are alternatives to domestic airlines and trains if you want to travel around different places. For me, I took a highway bus (~4 hours) from Miyazaki to Fukuoka and on the same day, board another highway bus (~10 hours) from Fukuoka to Kyoto. From here, I can take 100 yen buses and other normal buses to go around Fukuoka!

Furusato-kan

I could not find this furusato-kan when i alighted from the bus stop! Attempted to walk around following the map. But it was terrible. Where is it?! When i was standing there at the traffic light helplessly, a man with blond-dyed hair and a half lighted cigarette came over to ask if I was lost. He offered to look at the map but wasn't sure of the directions too. He kept saying "chotto matte" to me and at the same time trying to figure out where we are on the map. After some time, he finally knew where we were and offered to walk me to furusato-kan. *happy*

This furusato-kan is a small musuem that introduces Fukuoka and Hakata history. You can learn about their culture, language etc. They also display items that were used during olden days. (There's some English introductions as well!) It was interesting to walk around this little museum. =) Next to the museum, is a small shop selling souvenirs and toys from olden days. Even if you don't want to buy, it's great to take a look.

Weaving Machine

Weaving was something really interesting that I get to try in Fukuoka! In between the furusato-kan and souvenir shop, there was this little house that showed the history of cloth-weaving in Fukuoka. I was walking inside the house taking photos of weaving machine and the finished product, when an ojisan approached me wanting to explain the history of weaving. But but but, he was speaking in Japanese! I tried my best to understand what he's speaking and probably understood only 40%. ”わかりましたか？簡単で説明しますね。” (Did you understand? I will do a simple explanation.) Looking at the question marks on my head, he decided to let me try out weaving instead. I sat in the machine above, with ojisan standing next to me to guide me. He would smack my hands if i never place my hands properly. :s I managed to do quite a few lines of strings. Weaving is not easy at all. It requires good hand and leg coordination because after you step on the peddle, your hands need to be ready to switch the ball of string. It's fun!

5 oct 07 - Fukuoka

2007-10-25T14:35:00.000+08:00

The whole night on the plane, I could not get to sleep because of a snoring man sleeping behind me. All the people were sleeping soundly. I look through the window and saw the beautiful night sky. Probably that's the closest distance we can get to stars. The whole sky was lit with glittering stars and it was amazing. I have never seen such sky in Singapore. =) After a while, I slowly fell into deep sleep due to tiredness. When I woke up, it's breakfast time. Japanese style breakfast with rice and miso soup. I asked for the Western style instead cuz I like to eat bread. Haha The air stewardess seemed to assume that I am Japanese so she kept asking me questions in Japanese and i replied in Japanese. In the end, I was not given the immigration card and the declaration card was in Japanese. I had to tell her that I am not Japanese and asked her for the immigration card. =p I felt a sense of relief when we reached Fukuoka International Airport. Finally, I stepped on the land of the rising sun, Japan.

I had a long chat with the immigration officer because there wasn't many people queuing up. At first, he only asked where I am from and what I am here for. Then, he was having difficulty asking in English and started to ask whether I understand Japanese. Yes, the moment I nodded my head, he was so glad and asked even more questions! -_-" Had to write down Suyu's contacts and address because he discovered that I have a friend in Japan. He asked about Suyu's occupation and my whole travel plan. Where did I learn Japanese and how long. Even asked if my boyfriend is Japanese? So after finding out that Suyu is a Singaporean working in Miyazaki and I am a Singaporean coming for a long holiday and my boyfriend is Indonesian, he gave a confused look. ''複雑ですね。。。" (It's complicated...), I said then he laughed. That's the first Japanese I spoke to in Japan.

Then I got stuck at the luggage check area. This officer was nice but niao! He wanted me to open my luggage and check everything... When he saw the parcel that suyu's mum wanted me to bring over, he asked me if i do drugs? -_-" Anyway, after explaining to him the contents, he insisted to open it. The parcel was sealed nicely with scotch tape lor... He doesn't know what is chicken essence? So I got to explain to him. Then, when he saw "Yomeishu", he gave me a diaoz look... "Why you bring this from Singapore to Miyazaki? You can buy this in Japan!" I told him that my friend could not get this in Miyazaki... That's why! After some 15 minutes, he decided to let me go and nicely wrapped back the parcel for me. *lucky*

(Look out for next entry with pictures!)

4 oct 07 - Changi Airport

2007-10-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

I only had a few days to pack my luggage. Before I knew it, it was already the day for departure. My mum specially took leave to send me off at the airport. Since my brother had nothing to do, he came along as well. After we ate, dear rushed down from work too. I was feeling very nervous. For the first time in my life, I am going to a place so far all by myself. At the airport, I discovered that my "auntie" came to visit me. *sianz* the end of my hope for the onsen trip!

The moment I stepped into the custom area, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I am very excited about going to Japan. On the other hand, I seriously doubt myself whether I am able to travel alone. Turning around, I saw my mum waving at me with dear and my brother. "Am I really going alone?" I cross my fingers and hope that I will not get lost at Bangkok Airport.

After a few hours of smooth flight, I reached Bangkok Airport. The plane stopped in the middle of nowhere. I had to walk down the plane and take a shuttle bus. It was torturing for the next few hours of waiting to transit. Walking around the shops with limited bahts I had from my previous trip to Bangkok, I merely did window shopping. In the end, I paid for surfing internet at a internet cafe. It was expensive ~200 bahts for 20 minutes. The computer needed update and it wasted 5 minutes of my time. When i was chatting on msn, I accidentally hit a key to change to Thai words and suddenly I can only type Thai words. Well, at least I got to chat a little bit with my friends and dear.

~Dress well~

2007-09-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

When i started work on my first job, it does not require me to dress formally... i am not the kind of person who knows how to go about choosing and matching clothes... so, my dear colleagues always see me in t-shirt and jeans... (not those nice and cool ones!) haha in other words, *lok kok*

The first time when i realised this, was my mentor (name will not be disclosed) who commented on my dressing for she is somebody who always like to dress up nicely... haha after that, here and there i received kind advices and comments... mostly about my sandals... cuz i wear sandals WHEREVER i go... yeah, no matter what i am wearing! =p

recently, ST who was very kind, went shopping with me... in an attempt to get nice clothes that will suit me... last time we went queensway shopping centre too... that was very long ago... apparently one trip is not enough to change a person's dressing for the better... so this time was at orchard... :) ST is really pro in shopping and she knows how to dress up very well... (of cuz we cant say bad things about people who help us right?) haha though sometimes i dont understand her definition of nice, but i really trust in her to help me... so i have learnt some lessons from our precious learning shopping trip...

1. don't wear purple even though everyone knows i love purple colour... she says sometimes it makes me look old... must depend on the shade... i am still trying to figure out wat shades suit me...

2. no lines at you-know-where... it just dun suit my figure...

3. NO NO NO! shocking pink is erm...

4. Try grey and blue... yes! its really nice...

5. sleeveless and long sleeves are great!

6. long tops are recommended... cuz my body is not-long...

7. matching shoes with the clothes is impt!

some of the points i remembered from the trip... hahaha thank you teacher ST... =p knowing what is suitable is not enough... i think must be brave enough to try... so i practically tried everything ST chose, not forgetting the unforgettable elf costume...

What did i buy?

- A grey & white striped dress which is really nice and looks so si wen...
- A black dress and white skirt which i matched them together to wear... its one of my favourite... reason: its very comfortable!
- A pair of black heels which i tink will come in useful for interviews, work, etc
- A pair of black capris pants which matches the above heels very well...

That's all for this shopping trip... :)

Going Japan!!!

2007-09-18T01:00:00.000+08:00

after so many years of studying Japanese, i finally have the chance to go Japan... this time it will be double combo - kyushu + kansai... hopefully when i come back, i can take some time to blog about my trip... *yeah* =) it has been my wish to travel there... due to financial constraint, i have been waiting and waiting... so i am super excited about it... though its super tiring to be planning for the places to go and accommodation etc, i actually prefer free n easy than package tour... i wanna relax after converting to jobless status... heehee~

Its really goodbye this time

2007-09-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

these few weeks have been rather busy at my workplace... went concourse with my colleagues to buy presents for all the children... den have been writing for term progress for the children cuz its the end of the term le... plus marking the never ending pile of homework... somehow time never seems to be enough... i have not been making the class materials as well... lucky i am going back during the term break to finish my work... hahaha by this week, i have to finish wrapping all the presents as well... hopefully all the children can come this week to get their presents else... sianz... (reminded myself of one pinwheel which is still in the cupboard cuz my student din come) last week got quite a lot of absentees... i wonder why?

time really flies... this week is actually my last teaching week at the school... i think i really gonna miss my colleagues and children a lot... it has been a very wonderful and happy working experience with the children and i enjoyed working with my fun colleagues (they really made a huge difference!)... minus the 'cool' bosses, everything was great... thats why iv kept saying that i will surely cry on the last lesson with my children... *no way* no matter how she bu de i am, i shall be a very brave girl and not cry for the whole week... *tian xia wu bu san zi yan xi*

after tendering for the third time, i am finally leaving... and its without any regrets... well, things have come to such a stage that i actually felt glad that i have put things to an end...

About Parents

2007-09-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

I was talking to ST that day after our saturday classes... dunno why we started talking about our parents... especially our dear mums... so we spotted many similarities between them, other than like to watch the afternoon taiwanese drama 'yi nan wang'... heehee =p somehow this conversation came up in my mind while i was standing in front of the sink and happily washing all the dishes + two pots with curry stains + rice cooker... suddenly just feel that sometimes i dun really understand how my mum thinks... i am sure many people feel the same way towards their parents too, if the parents are very traditional... but it is important that we remind ourselves no matter what our parents do, they have our interests in mind... because of the generation gaps and different thinkings, we might quarrel because of misunderstanding... a scene replayed in my mind... in the movie 'I not stupid', where the dad died while trying to protect his son... he was a violent dad and always beating his son... but he did not have much education and did not know how to go about teaching... the only way that he knows to teach his son is to beat him... so sad right? on the other hand, now that many families are getting affluent, the parents have a tendency to spoil their children such that the children grew up not knowing wrong and correct, not able to face failure etc... all parents love their children but it is also important to learn how to love children correctly... Love education is the key to raise children!

From colorquiz.com

2007-09-03T23:27:00.000+08:00

Your Existing Situation

Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

Your Stress Sources

Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.

The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.

Your Desired Objective

Needs to feel identified with someone or something and wishes to win support by her charm and amiability. Sentimental and yearns for a romantic tenderness.

Your Actual Problem

Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

p/s: just happened to check psychology test online and tried this... some parts are really very accurate! =p

FriendS

2007-08-09T02:52:00.000+08:00

Friends are a form of emotional shelter... someone to share laughter and joy... someone to share tears and sorrows... someone to lean on for support and someone to give support to... friends need encouragement from each other and friends have to learn to accept each other for who they are... not just tolerating each other, but to understand how each other feels...

I just hope that things will get better as time goes by... =)

just to share~

2007-08-09T02:37:00.000+08:00

Proverbs 10:19

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Just feel like sharing this phrase which is one phrase that i remind myself quite often... other than "be slow to angry" in James 1... these are two very important phrases which i have learnt to conduct myself in my daily life... yes, from time to time, we tend to forget about our weaknesses and bad points... but i feel that it is good to keep on reminding myself of these two phrases... so that i remember that i must not be too fast to react and become angry and speak without thinking... oh, i must share this with my tuition kid... i kept telling him that i remembered this phrase in the bible but i cant remember where it is?! but actually i had a bookmark on this page... i hope he learns from this...

James 1:22

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

- Reflect -

2007-07-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

when you get everything you want easily, you don't realise how hard it is for your parents to earn that.

when everyone pampers you too much, you just take people's kindness for granted.

it's not cool at all, to scold your parents using vulgar language.

how would you feel if you are the one being scolded?

what gives you the right to say these dirty words to them?

what have you done for your parents?

what have you done for your family?

what have you done as a son?

what have you done as a brother?

If you don't learn to reflect your own mistakes, you will only risk losing your family.

漢字学習ステップ　６級

2007-07-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

川さんのおかげで、八月二十二日漢字検定のテストを受けることになった。すごく緊張ので、昨日もう紀伊国屋で練習の本を買った。どうしょう？時間が足りないそう。頑張ります。合格したい！

rEtAiL ThErApY

2007-07-14T23:31:00.000+08:00

-digress-

Typing the title like this reminds me of my student, ryane... he purposely wrote his name, alternating the size of each letter like this, on his drawing that day... he is very cute and i love him very very much!!! *heehee*

-end-

well, talking about retail therapy... daniel was saying that he bought a lot of things these days... he talked a lot about shopping when we meet up to drink at starbucks... hahaha so unlike of him... though i have recently gotten a very pathetic bonus, i have been thinking of new things that i should get for myself... and i think i also caught the shopping virus from him... me bought a pair of jeans, a denim skirt, my favourite sandals, a pink top and two bras recently... haha i have been feeling rather happy these few days till i realised i have spent quite an amount... -_-" its very difficult to control yourself (or rather myself) from buying... sometimes i really feel very sad for having to stop myself from buying things that i wan... i feel so pathetic... at least most of the things that i really want are not those branded and unreachable things... just whether i am willing to part with my cash or not... so this time, i decide i will spend a bit and save a bit... :)

shopping is not just about getting things that you desire... it is a process whereby a lot of things can happen... when you shop alone, you get to see many pretty things and you can image how nice it is to own all these things... when you are not feeling happy, shopping takes your mind off your troubles and focus on buying things... the moment when you make a purchase, you feel a sense of satisfaction... in other words, shopping makes you feel emotionally better after the physical purchases... ^^ for this, you can go for Ms SC for advice... (maybe she does not want to be named in my blog) hahaha

p/s: for those who dun like shopping, swimming is another good alternative! \(^^)/

Quick, grab it b4 the hike!

2007-07-02T01:30:00.000+08:00

i was at IKEA last night just wandering around with him to look at the furniture... it was through the announcer saying that IKEA will be opened till 12 midnight... wat's the occassion? nearly forgotten that it is the GST 2% hike... after 30 June, it would be officially 7%... saw one man talking to another man, "if you think you really need it, then you get it... if you are not sure then don't buy... its not worth it to just grab it though the hike is coming..." sounds quite true... i cant do anything to avoid buying luxury items at 7% since my house is not gonna be due soon... hahaha so i am not complaining... :)

now IKEA has updated quite a few of the rooms and we have picked up some designing ideas... i really cant wait for my house to arrive... only then we can make some proper planning i feel... now with the floor plan which is hardly accurate, its difficult to tell wat can fit into the rooms... i am not really good with these designing stuffs but i guess i can only contribute some silly ideas... however, i am sure my house will turn out good no matter wat... heard of one chinese saying? "gold nest, silver nest, the best home is still my dog nest!" :p

Its Term Break!

2007-06-30T00:31:00.000+08:00

finally after weeks and weeks of teaching, the teachers are getting some kind of holiday... yes, we do not need to teach... but every one of us is busy from making materials, typing lesson plans and writing reports... even though i am happily updating my blog, i have reports for the whole term to write... kinda not in the mood! =p

actually planned to go batam with him... i am looking forward to the food there... hahaha such a glutton... but my good auntie came just yesterday and my cramps were terrible... this morning i had to drag myself to work... felt so drained of energy... :s instead, i requested to stay in singapore... even brought my japanese hw to do while he does his freelance...

today's a fri night... though we were tired, we met up for dinner at harbourfront centre... yes, look at the number of people at vivo... i wanna escape to somewhere with lesser people... got this sudden craving for mee sua... so we went to shihlin... den proceeded to vivo and got caught into best denki... looking at all the electronics... as usual, he was so interested in the tv and laptops... this time round, he took fancy of refrigerators too... nowadays the refrigerators can be rather huge... with so many compartments it can be very messy... :s washing machine, dryer, cd player, toaster, rice cooker... i can list a whole lot of things i wanna get for my new flat... plus the furnitures and renovation... i wonder how much in the end will we be spending? :s *sounds scary* my leg cramped badly after walking for so long... so we went to coffee bean to spend my remaining 10 dollars... hahaha drank the usual drink... took a long bus ride home... that is the result of not wanting to stand through out the train ride... =p

he said to me that he is really happy to be able to spend fri night with me like this and not worrying about me having to work the next day... issit bcuz it comes once every three months? that's why it feels so precious? quote from chloe's daddy, de bu dao de yong yuan zui hao... heehee~

一リットルの涙

2007-06-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

Minhui lent it to me two weeks ago and i just finished watching everything this week... it was a very touching drama extracted from a real life story... :) i think i might just accidentally cried one litre as well... if you count the moments when i cried recalling the story... This girl, Aya suffered from a strange brain disease whereby the cells controlling muscles gradually disappeared with no reason... she died after 10 years fighting the disease... and her diary was published with the same title as in "one litre of tears"... unfortunately this book is only available in Japanese... :( (it will slow down my reading speed dramatically!)

After watching the drama, i suddenly felt how lucky i am... though i fall down occasionally (not as often as Aya), i am able to walk by myself... i am able to write and type properly... i can eat my meals well without having to choke and risk dying from that... i can speak clearly with everyone understanding me... being healthy actually allows me to do so many things that one cannot do when one is sick... i guess this is something we ought to remind ourselves of from time to time...

how strange people are... we never realise how lucky we are till we see that some other people are no better den us... and after being satisfied and contented for a while, we start to forget that we are lucky and we start to compare ourselves with people whom we considered as even luckier... why do we do that? doesn't that make us more miserable? we must learn to see things in the positive light and stop being so greedy... contentment brings happiness... desires are bottomless pits... if we never learn that our desires is never ending, we will not be happy... think simple and you will be happier... :)

Enid Blyton and the cloth II

2007-06-26T11:19:00.000+08:00

James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

That's the verse i am talking about... so during that time, i always put in conscious effort to remind myself of this... i should try to listen to people more often and be slow to speak and become angry... i am still trying very hard to do so... i guess man are always imperfect and that's why we seek to be more perfect by changing ourselves to be more God-like... =)

i guess for me, the most difficult part of improving myself would be managing emotions... i wonder issit the same for everyone... as most of the people around me know that i cry very easily, i get upset very easily... i also get excited very easily... i feel happy very easily... maybe in the eyes of others, i am over-reacting... but that is how i am... that is my character... watching dramas like "one litre of tears", i cried non-stop for hours... cuz i really imagined the actress in such a situation... as though i can feel watever she is feeling... even when i talk abt the story, i start to cry... it is making me depressed these days too... :( on the other hand, when i see my children being able to learn something new or shown improvement, i would also feel very happy... its the kind of wonderful emotion that keeps me happy throughout the working days... =) a fren has ever mentioned to me, emotion is like sitting on roller coaster... after you get down, you will definitely go up... that's true!

Enid Blyton and the cloth

2007-06-25T00:30:00.000+08:00

I was on the train journey from tanjong pagar back to tampines when a thought suddenly came to me... it was a very simple story from one of the Enid Blyton's books... a short story about this magician who was spotted by a boy in the middle of the night... the magician was holding one bale of cloth and the boy questioned about the cloth... it was the cloth that represents our life... the shiny spots represented the times when we did kind deeds and grey spots represented the times when we were bad and greedy... the holes represented the hurts that we inflicted on others and others had inflicted on us... i always wondered if i have a cloth like this, how would mine look like?

there were times that i was happy to look back on the wonderful and memorable times i spent with my family and friends... i was glad that i chose to do certain things over the others... the days i wish that the people that i cared were happy and they did... there were times that i felt miserable to think about how mean and unreasonable i was when i got angry and how unsatisfied i was getting on with my life... i felt that greediness, laziness and other negative feelings piled up inside my heart and it just made my days seem darker than usual... no matter how many times i told myself not to regret, i still did it... so, i seriously broke down when i watched "one litre of tears" especially the part when Aya said, i will stop to regret about this sickness which i have gotten... i will choose to look forward and live on... (something along this line) i will strive hard to make my life shinier than the past, even though i know i cannot stop the holes and grey areas...

that day i happened to meet up with daniel for supper near my place... and he was telling me his impression of me last time in pri/sec sch... i feel that i have changed for the better and he agreed too... my old friends can tell u how bad i was as a person... i nvr care for other ppl... i was always very self centered and thinking about myself... i talk practically using my mouth and not my brain... (i am really better now i feel) i hurt the people who were around me... i just felt very lousy when i recalled about the past... i felt that, at that time, i was probably living because i am living... but after Weitian brought me to her church, i started to think a lot about my life... i still rem the first time when i opened the Bible, it was at James 1 (if i nvr rem wrongly)... it was about managing your anger and i cried so hard... this was so true of me at that time... (to be continued)

About Make-Up~

2007-06-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

i am not the kind of person (unlike my sis) to put on make-up everyday or whenever i go out... always feel that make-up makes a person looks pale when she is without make-up... last time in choir, i always anyhow do the make-up... as long as it is not very obvious and quite presentable will do... i am hopeless!!!

today after lunch, i went watson with susie, huiyi and esther... cuz huiyi wanna get some comestics... and our dear susie who is always so excited about dolling up, experimented on huiyi's face... hahaha =p it was quite funny... and i even took a picture of that! wondering wat will huiyi wear tmr? she's gonna surprise us... haha and susie too... heehee

sometimes i do wonder, how would my face change if i were to put on make up? haha thats because i have seen a few girls looking totally different with and without make up... well, maybe next time i would really have the chance to do that when i change to a new working environment...

talking about which, i think some of my friends still thinking that i might just end up continuing working in the same place... since the management is supposedly gonna make changes to our salary... i wonder what would be the ending? but i really hope for a break... i just feel too tired to carry on...

New Home + New Worries

2007-06-13T08:29:00.000+08:00

a few weeks ago, i received a letter from hdb saying that we are shortlisted for the flat in tiong bahru... =) i am very happy for a while before i start worrying again... next week, we are going to select the flat and pay the option fee... i think within three months, we would have to sign the lease and also by that time, get ready the housing loan letter and stuffs... everything seems to be going quite fast... when the flat is ready, den have to worry about renovating the flat... though we haven gotten the flat, everytime we go to courts or ikea, we would be discussing about wat furniture we want and how we wan the house to be like... hahaha it's a totally new experience for me... cuz i have not moved before... the only time was moving from kampong to hdb when i was two years old... obviously i cant rem anything about that... so my house has made some changes from time to time but overall it is the same... i wonder if it would turn out to be wat i wan... haiz, i still think the new hdb flats are very small compared to my house... :s

financially it is very worrying... now i am still repaying my education loan... and my house is coming soon... and i am thinking of putting braces as well... and i wanna go miyazaki, japan in october to visit suyu... haha i think i am too greedy... bcuz i wanna do so many things, i dun think i would be able to save up like my sis does and pay upfront liddat! but i am really that kind of person... i cant just save up and force myself to be miserable... i rather pay slowly and life is still within my control... i can still go occassional shopping and go out with frens... =p well well, let nature takes its course...

also after much consideration, i decided to quit my present job to go for another job... why?? i really love this job... the colleagues and children... haha but sometimes i really feel sick and tired of this job... i guess everyone would have this kind of feeling from time to time... and the pay isnt good enough... i am not asking to earn alot... but i wanna repay the loan and start paying for my house... with a mere amount like tt, i dun think i can make it... somemore i dun think i am high maintenance... so with a higher pay, i would be able to do more things... for this to happen, i gave up my chance to take a basic course offered by the company... by sept, i would have to say goodbye to everyone and i gotta make sure i really do that k? if not, i would be laughed at again... :(

another thing is about feeling comfortable and at home... though from time to time, i stayed over at his place, i still feel at home when i am really at my own house... with my parents and my siblings... talking rubbish and watching tv together... its more fun and more relaxed... over at his place, its very much of us interacting only... with his bros interacting with the computer... -_-" the whole feeling is just weird... not getting used to it... so just imagine how lonely i would be if he were to go out and leave me alone at home... omg... >.<" *kangae takunai*

with the new house, a lot of adjustments would have to be made i guess... in terms of financially, psychologically etc... his mum is actually suggesting meeting my parents... i feel like "huh? need meh? feels like those olden days type of parents-meetup..." think i have to ask my mum about tt... haha tts all for now... gotta rush to work now... my body is aching from the swim yesterday... :s

My birthday is coming...

2007-05-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

How fast one year passed just like that... i am reaching mid twenties soon... it sounds so scary... :s where is my life heading to? i wonder... maybe by the time i find an answer, i would be ten years older already... *hopefully* that's better than getting no answers at all... hm, what do i want for presents? i really dunno... must go and think about it... my bf has gotten me new specs cuz i had just recently spoilt mine... =p

On channel 5

2007-05-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

Ever since my sis moved back from hostel, its getting more crowded at home... =) haha we watched two movies on channel 5 which were based on animals... Shark attack 2 and The rats... do you know wat they have in common? there was a man who was supposed to be the hero, saving people from sharks and rats... and together with the hero, there was a silly woman who knew nuts about the problem and always insisting on tagging along wherever the hero went... how come in the movies, men are always the heroes? i wonder why...

Self confidence~

2007-04-23T12:24:00.000+08:00

You don't have to be a 200 pounds girl to feel insecure about yourself... i really admire those who have lots of confidence in them... and whatever they do just make people feel "wow" about them... though whenever i meet up with my friends, colleagues and other people, i always talk a lot including silly things and cold jokes... but i think i talk to feel the confidence in myself... i enjoy talking to them to make them laugh or feel diaoz about what i am talking about...

What's inside of me? i find lots of insecurities... i worry about every single thing going on in my life... i cling onto my loved ones for lots of support... on the surface, i try to be someone who is very happy-go-lucky and always laughing and doing silly things... i try to take things easy and not feel so much stress... underneath, i find myself struggling very hard just to get on with life... living can be sometimes torturing... its not about being poor and not being able to live well financially... (which depends on individual definition) in fact, i am very happy about that already... i can survive well on my own... its about being lost and finding no direction in life... i am just walking in the fog and hoping that i dun drop into a hole next moment when i step out...

sometimes i feel like i am living a life for somebody... for this physical body that my soul is residing in... my mum wanted me to study well and get into university... this was her hope for her daughter... so i studied hard and finally graduated from the local university... but now what is the path i should really take? neither my mum nor me had a clear idea about it i think... i have the habit of always listening to others for opinions... i believed in people around me cuz they are more matured and capable than i am... i am so unworthy and so useless to be a good friend or even a good girlfriend to these dear ones who chose to be together with me... i hope one day, i can really pick up confidence about myself and stop feeling so lousy for being fat and ugly and stupid and childish and for whatever bad points that i have...

however one important thing that i learnt -- life is precious so i would not give up easily... kore kara mo gambarimasu!

"200 pounds beauty"

2007-04-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

Finally i have ended my sun classes... i was on my way to meet dear for dinner (still standing at tanjong pagar platform waiting) before i received his msg... he actually suggested going for a movie after dinner? hahaha i dunno but i feel its so unlike of him to have such a request? usually we only go for dinner den go home le... =p still, i was very happy... *arigatou*

talking about the movie, its about a fat and ugly girl who has a great voice... she was singing in the backstage for a singer... after being insulted by the singer, she went for plastic surgery to totally change herself into a beautiful woman... by her fren's help, she returned to singing and was rediscovered by the producer whom she was secretly in love with... it was very touching... haha at least i cried several times... i am too easily touched... :s

but the chinese subtitles sucked... got a few parts it was lousily translated... how i know? cuz it had both english and chinese subtitles lor... cant imagine those who are reading the chinese subtitles only... :s

shocked beyond words

2007-04-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

was just chatting with my lab partner dean just now... she was mentioning about her close fren, abel... always see him with her in lectures last time... and i always tease them being a couple... when she asked me, do u rem him? i thought its gonna be some good news that they finally got tog? but she just told me that he passed away... -committed suicide- though i believe some point in time, everyone would have this kind of thought going thru' in their minds, this still come across rather shocking to me... maybe cuz recently my colleague's dad passed away due to sickness, i was already feeling bad for her... why do people choose to give up their lives so easily? haiz~

Finally!

2007-03-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

these few weeks the blog has been down due to some unknown problem... at first i tot it was only my blog... den i realised tt alot of ppl are having problems with their blogs... primary reason being tt our blog adds have "-" or "_"... haha so finally, i can update my blog... but not as if i update tt often?

it is the end of my first term for school... *finally* last few weeks it had been quite hectic writing the term progress and taking pictures for the children... they are so cute... i am gonna miss them... =p this term break comes just in time for me to take a rest and also to tink about wat i am gonna do in class... heehee~ i must come up with new tricks to get them practising games at home!

and also, me gonna go btm this week! hahaha finally i have the weekend to spend with my bf... =) though we haven plan wat to do yet... most prob eating and more eating... how am i going to slim down like this ler? i haven quite figure that out yet...

anyway, me just made an appointment with the dentist for braces... after so many years, i finally got the chance to do it... haha so many ppl asked me why i nvr do it when i am younger... no money mar... how to do? i am so excited though a bit scared about extracting teeth...

though this whole entry sounds abit messy, everything has gotta do with finally... hahaha nvr know that it is such an useful word... ^^||

WoW!

2007-03-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

I am so excited that day when minhui msg me that she had already received her jlpt results... felt a little pity she failed but i din dare to ask how much she has gotten... as for me, i was rushing home to open the letter... and when i did that, i din dare to see the results... i showed the letter to my mum and asked her to see for me if it was written "failed"... (japanese kanji are the same as chinese words) however, my mum said words too small and she couldnt really see... -_-" haha in the end, i looked at my results and guess wat? i passed!!!! i was very excited and happy... but come to tink of it, i only passed by one more miserable mark... actually also nth to be proud of... =p

recalled how my teacher said "impossible" to me when i asked her whether i could pass jlpt level one if i take it last yr... though disheartened, i went to kinokuniya and spent quite alot of money on buying assessment books and exam papers... cuz at tt time i just passed my level two so i was still quite enthu in studying... not that i nvr study but after two three months, my enthusiasm went down drastically... the result was i nvr finish studying my assessment books and had to skip to doing exam papers... was hoping for the best le... :s

on tt day i met up with minhui n sylvia n pauline who took level two for lunch... after tt, my da yi ma suddenly just come... during the exam midway, my cramps start to come... it was quite sianz to do the paper but i tried my best... i even closed my eyes and image myself doing exams... haha wat can i say? at least i passed... =)

Happy Chinese New Year

2007-02-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all~

Merry Christmas

2006-12-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

I went out with Ivy today in an attempt to shop for christmas presents... its super crowded at vivocity and i wonder why is everyone so free on monday afternoon? haha in the end, i managed to get my fst exchange present ready and Ivy bought 3 bags of goodies for the children at hypermart... and its very torturing actually to buy presents for exchange when you dunno who is the receiver... but then, even if you know who to give, you might not know wat to get too... i am so troubled over the presents tt i decided to make it simpler and not give unless we are meeting for present exchanges... =p

my 2 year old children are so cute... haha they tried to sing christmas carols during class last sunday... even though its bits and pieces here and there, i really had a great time with them... its fun to see them grow! after one year, they can speak so well... i am so glad tt they are not blabbering so much now... haha

wondering how i am going to celebrate my christmas? haha though i can pretty much predict how issit gonna be like... but still, maybe its different this time... anyway more importantly is i have the chance to spend whole day with him! (i hope so) =) still feel happy and satisfied by just staying beside each other to spend the day... its ok to be boring bcuz there are still so many days to come... v(^^)v

JLPT level 1

2006-12-04T08:34:00.000+08:00

so rare to wake up on a sunday and not having to go work... i quickly resumed to my studying area and was busy reading up the last few sets of grammar notes which i haven finished... :s after that, i went bugis slightly earlier to meet minhui and pauline for lunch at ajisen... den i discovered tt oh no! my da yi ma just came?!?!?! wat a timing to come? i was mentally prepared to be aching from the cramps during the exam... =(

1. Vocabulary - wat can i say? for certain sections, i was quite confident in doing... i know the words well and for those tt i was guessing their pronounciation, i was certain tt my answer could possibly be the right one... for the ultimate section of picking words that have the same kanji in different context, its a total flop... as usual, i could not recall the words which i tink must be words tt i nvr use or seen before? i just hope i can get over 70 marks if possible...

2. Listening - its a total mess! hahaha i did the past yr paper 2004 and i did pretty well... the reason being some of the questions were used in my japanese class... but this year's listening is really a killer... questions with pictures - the speaker was so fast i hardly catch anything?!?! esp the news reporting... sounds like wat u'll hear on japanese tv!!! questions without pictures was easier... at least there's more questions tt i tink i know wat they are saying...

3. Grammar - thanks for kanzen master guidebook... if not i wld really die for this paper... as usual the first passage is a killer... i took 20 mins to figure out wat the hell is the writer talking about? its so chim talking about ppl trying to track time becuz we cannot visualise time... something along tt line... the other passages were quite okay... at least from my point of view, i understood the passage... just hope i dun choose wrong answers... the grammar part is difficult for me... hm... some questions i wonder if i din study or i cant rem, in other words, i cant answer cuz i dunno??? just anyhow choose an answer... of cuz wat i studied did came out as well... but not alot though...

i cant stop myself thinking about it... whether i would pass or fail... but anyway the result will only be out in mar... still a few more months to wait... :s

Angry & Disappointed

2006-09-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

Something that i see as important is just a joke in somebody else's eyes.

Only plain n poor EXCUSES.

No sincerity at all.

Forget abt it.

I can see myself starting to let it go.

SeeD

2006-09-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

the plant tat daniel passed to me did not grow at all... i tink i will wait for a few more days... if it still refuse to pop out of the ground, i will... i will... i will complain to daniel and get a new plant!!! =p

Teaching & Passion

2006-08-29T11:13:00.000+08:00

Teaching is different from other professions... in other jobs, you are probably always thinking about how to make more money and gain power, reputation etc... but being a teacher, you have to be always thinking about the students... how to let them learn more and benefit from your teaching... you gotta have the passion to do it...

Just Lazy

2006-08-29T10:36:00.000+08:00

I have already signed up for JLPT level one exam this dec... when i first gotten the results for level two, i was very excited cuz this means tt i can take level one exam this yr... and for tt reason, i went kinokuniya to buy 2 assessment books at one go... felt pain to part with the money but i guess this is really necessary if i wanna pass the exams... but after four five months down the road, i am getting less n less enthusiatic about taking the exams... feel so sianz to study... :s

Why am i slacking though i know there's not much time left to dec now... haiz... the more i study, the more i feel that my standard is really not there lor... there's far too many kanjis tt i have difficulty reading and so many grammars tt i wld forgotten almost immediately after studying... nobody is there to study with me too... feel so disheartened when sensei said tt its impossible to pass level one... kinda understand why she said tt cuz my japanese class now is supposedly to be preparing for level two... somemore need 70% to pass level one... cant imagine issit possible for me to pass in the first place cuz i scraped through my level two... maybe i shld not grumble and shld start studying now...

i wonder

2006-07-31T17:21:00.000+08:00

if the one closest to u wouldnt share ur sorrows, who shld u go to?

if the one closest to u couldnt accomodate to you, who can?

if the one closest to u keep on hurting you, why is that person still ur closest one?

Polling Day

2006-05-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

last saturday was polling day... i was quite happy that it was on a saturday... bcuz its a public holiday, all of us were granted one day of rest... =) its my first time to vote as i just passed the benchmark of 21 yrs "some yrs ago"... and it was not a walkover for my region... hahaha i tot it would be a very exciting moment... but it's quite simple and short... i went back to my old school for voting... took a piece of paper and mark a cross and post it in the box... hahaha someone suggested tt i draw a smiley face on the paper... but??? the serial number is on the paper isnt it? i think somehow they should still be able to trace back the voter... so i din... =p anyway, i wonder, other den cross, wat are other types of writing that appeared on the paper for those who did not wanna take a stand? it should be quite amusing if those papers were shown... =)

My MasterPiece

2006-04-25T15:07:00.000+08:00

For the first time, tampines seemed so untampines... the sky is simply too beautiful... despite the light drizzle, i walked out of the shelter and quickly took a snap with my K750...

maths in daily life

2006-03-27T18:53:00.000+08:00

i was on the train just now feeling abit bored... looking at the ppl ard me and wondering wat they are doing at this time of the day and where are they heading to?

out of a sudden i recalled tt according to the contract, i have to work 44 hours in a week... if i round up to 45 hours and divide among 5 days, it will be 9 hours rite? one day only have 24 hours... minus work, travelling and sleep time, we have less than 5 hours to ourselves... and we have to meet up with frens, go shopping, do our favourite activities, housework... :s

~Praise~

2006-03-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

i happened to be watching the discussion about how to discipline children... talking about scolding and caning becoming a thing of the past and praising is the way to go now... =)

becuz of my teaching job, i have learnt a whole lot about how to deal with children... the first thing tt i learnt is to praise them... praise is not as simple as many people think... just say "good" and "well done" is not sufficient for the children... you need to praise them accurately! call them by their names when you praise them and telling them exactly wat is their action tt makes u wanna praise them... for example, "john, you did very well for helping me to wipe the table and i really appreciate your help! thank you!" (reinforce with a big big hug) =) children need to know exactly wat actions are being appreciated and wat actions are not favoured... by praising them, they learn the right things to do!

wat happened when children did the wrong things? are we supposed to scold them or beat them? for me, i think it wld be better to explain to them (if they are older) and make sure they understands you and your point of view... if they get upset, always remind them tt you still love them but you dun like the things tt they do... of cuz if they are too young to understd, just use a firm tone to say "no" or indicate tt their action is wrong... constantly remind them if they repeat the action... when they stop doing it, its time for you to praise them for their ability to correct themselves!

how nice it is! i think i would love to grow up in an environment with praises~~~

Appreciate the children

2006-03-21T00:38:00.000+08:00

Something happened in my class last week and it made me ponder about how adults think... When my cute lil boy cannot finish the game in class, mummy accidentally said, "you shld arrange faster. see, now everyone finished arranging and teacher showing answers now." after a while, he started to cry loudly in class... ='(

why did he cry? mummy was puzzled by his sudden outburst and brought him out to pacify him... after a while, he was feeling better and got back to the class... after class, i had a lil chat with mummy... she was telling me tt she din know why he would suddenly cry... i explained to her wat she told him just now and she was like "did i say that?" "i didn't think much about it and he actually got affected by my words"...

to me, i picked up the same message tt he received when mummy said her comments... its the feeling of rejection! to him, he is trying to recall wat i had shown him, probably wanting to double confirm his answers before arranging... he knows if he does it right, mummy will be happy and proud of him... tts the reason for him working hard at it... but mummy's one simple comment simply deny him of the efforts he put in... i think tts why he feels sad and could not help but to cry...

we often dun think much of wat we said and treat them as passing comments, however it might just affect the party who is listening to us... especially towards young children, you think tt its alright for you to say anything you like and they might not understd you... for me, i dun think this is true... even if they could not express themselves in words, your words would really have an impact on them, whether it is negative and postive!

"searching in darkness"

2006-03-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

i rem there was once i watched the documentary film on animal behaviours... the researchers had special camera which captured the video of a troop of monkeys taking shelter in a underground cave... the monkeys walked inside the cave without any special equipments unlike the ppl... yet, they managed to move together as a whole group inside the cave and explore the underground... how wonderful they are to be capable of walking in total darkness~!

i imagine tt in the real world, we are doing exactly the same thing too... feeling lost about the present and the future? we are like walking in the underground... trapped in total darkness... where is our front and where is the back? are we really happy now? are we really satisfied with wat we have now? and of cuz we believed that something better is going to come along and tt leads us on to continue to search for the better whether it is our jobs, our loved ones, our hobbies...

because we cannot see wat is in front, we make decisions according our imagination... If ur esp tells u to go right, u will go right... tt's our natural instinct? haha i think tt is wat really makes life exciting sometimes... u nvr know wat's gonna happen next unless u chose tt particular path... if u chose to give up, u might nvr get the chance to go back already... lets enjoy our journey in the dark! Be brave!

Follow me.... =)

2006-02-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

Last week, i had much discovery during my classes... on thurs, poorvi surprised me with her excellent memory when we were playing language game... also she can rem all the items in memory game well... i am very happy with her progress! on fri, i heard from wei xi's mummy tt she has been reading alot at home and is doing very well... on sat, ethan started to recite the memory pictures in class... its great to see him participating in class... i have been teaching him for 9 months and it was the first time he is willing to tell the answers instead of keeping quiet... =) on sun, i see yusuke trying to imitate me in class... haha whenever i said, "close ur eyes" and he starts to say "open ur eyes"... =p den my new student, yu en, tries to imitate my hand gestures in class... hahaha i just cant stop laughing... she is very cute!! two year olds sure like to imitate alot ya? =) and and chloe likes to show me her stuffs whenever she comes to class... last time she showed me her bun for breakfast before she eats... den this wk she wore her new orange tshirt to show me! great to hear from her mummy tt she looks forward to my classes too... :) not forgetting my ke ai de arielle... she keep calling my name at home... haha maybe she misses me more compared to my bf? :p because i have cute n loving children, suddenly i feel a renewed passion in my work... *

A man has multiple roles to play in life

2006-02-21T04:02:00.000+08:00

just came to realise this sentence a few days ago... "a man has multiple roles to play in life"... hmm, its something worth thinking about... sometimes we are very good in a particular role but we might fail in other roles as well...

for example, you might be a very successful business woman... in your working role, you are powerful and knows how to run a business in order to earn profits for your company... when you return home, you might not be a good mother... you spend only a few hours with your children and they seemed to like their maids more than you...

Or maybe in the eyes of your colleagues, you are a stingy and irritating manager who is hard to please... but you are a great dad to be with and you just know exactly how to communicate with your children...

everyone has multiple roles to play in our lives... learning how to juggle between different sides of ourselves and facing the different groups of ppl is everyday's life challenge... in front of different groups of audience, you have to learn how to show the correct side of yourself... only in the backstage, you reveal your true self...

have you tried to realise the different sides of yourself?

BaReLaNg

2006-02-21T03:33:00.000+08:00

it's a very very very beautiful place where bridges joined up the islands (Batam, Tonton etc...) initially, we passed through a reservoir which is huge and beautiful... with the mountains surrounding it... not like bedok reservoir lor... at first i tot it was a lake... in the end, we checked and realised its a reservoir... the roads are very straight and few cars travelling... before left turn into the first bridge area, there are many stalls selling drinks and snacks... its a spectacular sight to see the first bridge... reminds me of the hongkong hsing ma bridge (if i nvr got the name wrong?) there's quite a bunch of ppl taking pictures... so we also alight from the car... OH NO! the wind is very STRONG and the worst thing is, mutsumi n i were wearing skirts... hahaha trying our best to smile and take picture despite our messy hair and hands busy pressing the flying skirts... -_-"

we passed by an island called pulau tonton... so easy to rem the name rite? den i got a stupid idea... i wanna stay in pulau tonton and set up a starbucks cafe... so ppl can get coffee from me... wahaha... he says i can only earn mutsumi's money which is very true... she's a coffee addict!! anyway tonton is very small... so only me can stay in the island... =)

we travelled for dunno how long to see the oncoming bridges... i see the blue blue sky with beautiful clouds following us... and the fields and wooden huts... somehow made me feel peaceful and happy... how are the ppl spending their life? maybe they nvr really use money? they only plant their own food and leave their fate to mother nature? i am very curious about their life... i wonder if they allow homestay? i wld like to stay for one day to experience a day without electricity, hp, internet etc... mutsumi asked me if i could take this kind of life... i really dunno? maybe living in singapore is too much a luxury? so much convenience tt we take for granted... tts why it wld be nice to experience this simple life and yet i suspect tt i probably cant spend my whole life like this... because i am already so used to my life in singapore... i feel insecured when i cant use my hp and internet? maybe its not just me but everyone?

in the end, we even went to a kelong to eat seafood when we dun have enuff money to? hahaha lucky he gotten discount from the person else i think we wld be helping them to wash bowls till night... =p the scenery is quite nice... though at some point in time, i feel like i am moving with the waves? haha it was low tide when we went off and managed to see some crabs crawling out from their breathing holes... those one arm big one arm small wan... :p

on the way home, i saw pretty clouds and forced him to stop the car so tt i can take a pic... haha dunno why i just love clouds so much... =) anyway i hope to go back to barelang again if i have the chance?

by the way, he went to some nice kelong without me... saw the pictures he took... really very beautiful... the sunset and everything!!! i wanna go kelong next time!!!~

~Chinese New Year~

2006-02-21T03:16:00.000+08:00

it's kinda funny to update this entry cuz chinese new year happened long long ago... haha i rem the new year eve, i was still having lessons... so sianz cuz everyone dun have to work except us... anyway, i rushed home right after the last lesson... dad came to drive me home... and my bro came along too... had our usual steamboat dinner before dad went to work... the first day of new year, i actually dun have feel very excited? maybe as we start to age, we start to lose feelings for traditional festivals? haha went to my dad's sister's place to bai nian... seemed very weird cuz nvr seen the relatives for so long... those korkor and jiejie tt i long knew are already turning uncles and aunties... those lil cousins are already teenagers... of cuz the uncles and aunties are turning old too... wat a festival to remind ourselves we are no longer children... :( after tt, dad drove us to ah na ah yi's house to see ah yi's daughter's baby... so cute! she is only 3 weeks old... its a special new year cuz first time dad gets to drive us around... on the streets, we see so many ppl waiting for cabs but cant seem to get one... =p

the next morning, i woke up very early to travel to harbourfront so tt i wun be late meeting mutsumi... atlas, the harbour was very crowded... lucky we booked tickets but the queue was quite long too... there was some problems with wavemaster and in the end, we only got mutsumi's ticket... i was kinda worried tt i could not get my ticket... lucky the guy at the counter was very helpful... we queue to get into the immigration while he prepared my ticket... :) den we embarked on our exciting journey to batam... haha i have nvr bring a fren to batam before... was quite worried tt it wld turn out to be boring for mutsumi... when we reached there, she had to queue up for visa which was another queue but the officer chased me to queue for the immigration side... i managed to pass through easily and i saw him waiting outside for us... but but mutsumi did not come out till very long... he was angry with me for leaving her to queue for visa cuz scared she might run into problems with the officers... heng nth happened... :s we went back to his place after a long delay den went to barelang... the next day we visited his frens' place and also a big big temple... after tt we came back to singapore... i tink mutsumi likes the food there! hahaha it turned out to be a fun trip too... everytime when they speak in chinese/teochew, i have to try translate into jap/eng for mutsumi... den everyone thinks my jap is good!!!! (even if my jap not gd, they also dunno mar???) -_-""

~MeMories of Music~

2006-01-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

one day, my sis was suddenly playing er hu in the middle of the night... den she was trying to take photos with the er hu... i was like -.-" if she wanna take pictures, why she dun change into something nicer? *lazy* is the word... she had to return the er hu to "golden eagle" chinese orchestra cuz it was loaned... still rem the first day she brought the er hu back... kept praising this er hu is good cuz it costs one thousand and the sound is far better den hers which is cheaply bought... come to think of it, i dun understd why she had chosen to join chinese orchestra in sec sch... but she had lotsa passion for it... initially, she would practise very often at home which is very torturing cuz she cant play well... keep playing tt huang fei hong song... killing my ears with that... after tt she played well and it was more pleasant to my ears... but my mum always think er hu is meant for old uncles sitting at the street begging for money... however she is very hardworking when it comes to practising... and i strongly believe tt it is her hardworkingness tt paid off her efforts in concerts and exams... she actually gotten a grade 7 within one or two years... which is very impressive~ her active participation carried on till she was in jc... now er hu is rarely played and finally has to be returned to its rightful owner... i wonder when will she ever pick up er hu again? hm...

that day + that moment

2006-01-09T18:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Arielle made my day! hahaha its great to see her in a good mood... she was smiling when she came to class... :) when we were playing arranging cards, i asked her where is the panda... guess wat? she pointed to me and smiled... -_-" *i look like panda meh?* her mummy and i were very much amused by her action... hahaha we only stopped class for two weeks and i find that she really grown by quite abit... she is now a bit taller... wat really impressed me was that she started to speak up!!! when i was playing maths game with her, i was counting one to ten and i could hear her repeating the numbers after me... i took a quick glance at her mummy and whispered excitedly, "mummy, she is saying the numbers!"... i can ask for nothing more than to hear her speak... last term she hardly speak up at all in class except to call for daddy in the middle of the class as she missed her daddy who went overseas working... -_-" i am really glad that she stayed in my class... else i wld have miss this moment! it really spurs me at that moment to continue working in this job... ;p

Happy New Year~

2006-01-09T17:59:00.000+08:00

hahaha so fast the term break is over and so fast i have to start work again... :s everyone is quite stressed out at work cuz have to prepare materials in advance for one more month and the timetable was out very late compared to last term... for me, i managed to get back most of my old classes which have been with me for two terms (six months) and my favourite one year old class was closed down... :'( *sadz* i have learnt to cope separating with my cute children... afterall, there is a cycle... at one point of time, some of the children may appeared to be super cute and you like them very much... at another point of time, you will start to like other children who are previously not as cute as you think they are now... =)

how did you spend your new year countdown? haha i din go orchard road to countdown of cuz... initially was considering between sentosa (which i am not very much in favour of) and mt faber (which slightly caught my interest)... in the end, i rotted at his house to countdown... when it turned twelve, both of us were standing in front of the rubbish chute to look at the beautiful fireworks... wat a spectacular view! its my first time seeing fireworks from hdb flat... haha tried to take pictures with my new hp too... though taking pictures with fireworks behind seemed like a good idea but to me, missing the beautiful fireworks can be a great pity too...

happy new year to all... welcome to year 2006... =) my children cant seemed to understand that its no longer 2005... last wkend when i was having class and telling the date and day... i asked them, "its year two thousand and..." *five!* they exclaimed... hahaha guess we played too much *hi-five*! =p

WoNdErFuL ChRiStMaS DiNnEr

2005-12-27T13:06:00.000+08:00

On christmas eve, i had to teach 5 classes as usual... though it was a bit sianz cuz i have really no mood to teach, i was very happy cuz i know when i finish the 5th class, i would have one week break from teaching... it keeps me energetic throughout the whole day... haha even mutsumi also feels so... =p

after the class, i rushed to suntec city to meet my frens for christmas eve dinner... guess where? its @ rice table!!! hahaha been wanting to go there n try the food cuz many ppl said its very nice... hm... okay lar... i think its not super duper nice like wat i imagine it to be... hahaha maybe too high expectation... after dinner, went to yj's hse to play mahjong till 6??? actually i only played till 3 plus and i was slping on yj's sofa when the gals continued playing mahjong... heavy rain in the morning so we delayed going home... took a cab home cuz me n fish were too lazy and tired to take a bus...

came home to slp till eleven plus... den i prepared myself to go out again... yaya, to meet him for christmas... hahaha our christmas dinner is on christmas day wan... =p when i reached there, it was already afternoon... we lazed around and playing with the new hp he got me... transferring data from my old hp to this new hp... wah, i was very impressed!! din know we can transfer all the messages to pc... and can view everything in the hp from pc with bluetooth? okay okay, i am very ulu i know... hahaha so i was resting while he configures the stuffs... after tat, we had late lunch at macdonalds eating rice burger... its really nice~ =) den proceed to cold storage and ntuc to get cooking stuffs... hm... din intend to cook so much but he keep wanting me to cook this n that... hahaha i am a very poor cook... -_-" den both of us had stomachache... went back to his house before coming out to get some more foodstuffs... haiz... it was very late when we started cooking... due to limited pots n pans, we cooked a dish n finish it before cooking next dish... so wat did we cook?

1. spaghetti... the simple n easiest dish... just dump the meat, crabsticks and sauce to cook... cook spaghetti separately and add the sauce when you are done... haha but the sauce we chosen was not very nice...

2. japanese curry udon... i like i like!!! its very nice k? hahaha just prepare potatoes n carrots n chicken to stir fry... den add water n concentrated sauce cubes... cook udon separately and add the curry on top when the udon is done... =) *best*

3. teriyaki salmon... *yucks* :s i dunno wat happened... marinated it with the sauce... den wanna have it dry... he said add water... den add too much... add sauce... after adding water n sauce repeatedly, the sauce becomes pale... the salmon is too thick so i tried to cut it into smaller pieces... haiz... in the end, becomes salmon flakes swimming in a pool of oil which dunno appear from where wan... :s nvr mind, i will try again next time!

4. bengawan solo log cake!!! no need to cook wan... just buy!!! its very nice though too much for both of us... it is still lying in the refrigerator at his house...

i was super duper full after the christmas dinner... and very tired from washing up... i am a lazy girl!!!!

Merry Christmas to All~

2005-12-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

hm... i am very happy that the term is finally coming to an end... after this saturday, it would be another nice little break for me... though there's still tons n tons of work to do and stressed out over the materials, at least there wun be any teaching done... lucky me finished all the make up classes during the term already... =p

r u feeling the festive mood already? for me i feel very sianz... especially when the people in shopping centres are FOREVER so crowded buying presents and queueing for wrapping services... hm... maybe i am just jealous lar... cuz i am always trying to suppress my urge to buy stuffs... its really like cold turkey treatment... *hen xin ku* mei ban fa who ask me to be so poor? hahaha everytime i buy things its like i have to make sure i still have money left lor... i was nvr like this before though... maybe i am more dong shi now... or maybe i am overly brainwashed by some thrifty guy... * u know who* but still i still think i have alot of things to buy... haha always lar... girls ALWAYS have the need to buy something... really... it just makes us feel better... * the XYs dun get it*

btw, my bro got into pasir ris crest secondary school... at first i was quite happy till i realised that there is no direct bus to the school... it was stated that 81 goes there but after checking online, i think have to walk damn long to reach the school... sianz... dunno whether my mum gonna complain me n my sis cuz of this anot... i heard tt this sch is good... the principal walks without sound and is quite strict with students... i think my bro needs to go to a school with strict discipline... hope he will do good 4 years there... my greatest wish is to see him jump from NA to express... we shall see k? =)

my sis is enjoying herself in hk... tink i gonna slp already... very slpy n tired... last nite i din slp well again... my back was hurting and i went toa payoh HH to pack boxes... those heavy boxes hurt my back more only... i was rushing out my stuffs when i went back to SP... i promised to meet him 7.15 but i was sitting all alone on the floor trying to sort out the jan materials... a bit pek chek cuz some of stuffs are quite uglily damaged... i plan to repair them tmr... gotta put them aside den need to reuse some of them... somemore sandra send me two big bags, plus one big box tt i packed in HH earlier this morning... things are in a big mess like my thoughts... only working two days next wk but i gotta finish all the materials and pack boxes... its really difficult... i was trying to rush le but i totally forgotten abt the date... he was angry and screamed at me cuz i left my hp in the classroom and he could not reach me... and becuz i made him waited 15 mins for me... it triggered alot of thoughts in me though... i do get angry sometimes when he made me wait 30 mins or unknowingly walking around in shopping centres... so he has the right too i guess?

anyway, merry christmas to all! hope u all have enjoy your festive holiday!!! =)

R.U.O.K?!

2005-12-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

by a stroke of luck, i managed to get Aikawa Nanase's latest Mini Cd "RUOK?!" in HMV... haha i was on the verge of getting my fren Mutsumi to buy it from japan if i cant get it in singapore... that was wat happened to the previous cd, "the first quarter"... cant find it in singapore at all... :( luckily all my frens happened to go japan that time... so i sabo one fren to get it back for me... heehee happy though my pocket is burnt yet again... :s

the first time i listened to RUOK, my first impression is "wah, nanase sounds different again!"... a different kind of feel from her previous albums... especially if you compared to "7"... but its not surprising at all... she has been trying to give her fans a new nanase each time she releases an album... in this album, the lyrics are written by her... =) i like the way she writes! always very inspiring and encouraging...

my favourite song is red wheel... its very very nice! especially the chorus, its very catchy... unfortunately, the chorus was printed in KATAKANA... oh terrible, terrible... my katakana sucks... initially i could not understand the lyrics at all and had to read real slow to catch the sentences... :s i think i better rewrite a hiragana version which is more friendly... favourite phrase in the song: if fate is decided by someone, who is the one who decides it?

other than red wheel, RUOK is also very cute! its the anime kind of tune... very catchy and nice to sing along... haha... its like even when i walk home, i can recall the tune and nanase's voice in my head... =p

snowfall is more of the ballad song in this album... the lyrics are ok-ok... but i like it too cuz the chorus is very special... =)

everyone goes is very inspiring and reminds me of "sekai wa kono te no naka ni" (world's in my hand)... "everyone has the strength to stand up no matter how insecure we feel" "it is not possible to be living under other people's influences" "nothing will start if you are passive"... (pardon my poor translation) in other words, it is very NICE!

Fly to rainbow ray is another inspiring song... a bird who lives in cage can only dream of flying to the sky with rainbow... actually its not just the birds rite? we too, have to learn how to spread our wings and fly high!

after x times of listening to the cd, i started to like Rock star's steady... :) it has a story which talks about the girl despising the guy who is a rock star... who writes the girl in his songs but dates many other girls... she said in the song that their relationship is just a fling and ask him to continue to flirt with his fans... somewhat special cuz nanase nvr write such theme before...

foolish555 is the least liked by me... ahaha dunno why lar... maybe i need to listen to it more...

in conclusion, this album is still very nice!!!!!!!

fix the tap, pls?

2005-12-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

these few days i cried alot... dunno why i get so angry easily... there's just some things i cannot tolerate... u can call me petty ghost... i am really really very petty and particular about certain stuffs... tts why i tell him i am da xiao qi gui... a BIG petty ghost...

please dun tell me to stop crying... if i can do that, i would have done that long ago... the more i try to suppress, the worst it becomes when i let go of my tears... some people think that tears are very precious and try to swallow into their stomach (in chinese literally, 眼泪往肚子里吞）but that is so hard for me... i rather i cry out all my sadness and angryness... my feelings can flow away with my tears... better rite? than to suppress it and feeling the sadness and angryness in you over and over again...

of cuz i wld be happy (or rather he would be happy) if someone could really fix this lousy tap of mine, and impart me with higher level of EQ so that i learn how to manage my emotions without dropping a single tear! =)

~blooming beautifully~

2005-11-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

there has been quite alot of changes made to my neighbourhood... new basketball court, new street soccer area, new playground, new walkway with many sweet smelling flowers being planted... the best part about it is the flower plot behind the bus stop that i usually pass by... =)

at first when i noticed it, it was a plot full of white flowers... as the white flowers wilt, pink flowers bloomed unexpectedly... today when i walked by, i saw a combination of white and pink flowers... *pretty* it really brightened up my nights as i pass by the place... here's a picture (though not nicely taken), i assure u its much prettier in reality... ^^

幸せを感じた

2005-11-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

昨夜、彼の家で寝ているうちに、喉が渇くなった。呼びかけると、すぐ彼が起きた。台所へ水を持ってくれた。あのときに、本当に幸せを感じた。

ありがとう。you pampered me.

Wait till you are older~

2005-11-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

hm... this movie was some time ago... recommended by fish cuz she said its very nice and touching... indeed, another movie to make me tear... and 1d refused to gimme tissues... he said if he gimme tissues, i sure cry more and he wants me to stop... :s

in the story, this boy hated his father and stepmom for causing his mum's death... so he wanted to grow up and be an adult... he accidentally touch the magic potion of a mystery old man den he started to age very fast... as he grew up, he realised tt it is not that great to be an adult... and he eventually found out the truth his mum was a third party and forgiven his father and stepmom...

for me, i nvr like the idea of growing up... always being said "stop being childish" by 1d, and many other people... i just wanna say i am who i am... haha its difficult to be an adult... to be responsible for monthly expenditures and saving up to pay debts... to learn how to interpret hidden meanings behind everyone's actions and avoid being stabbed in the back by other people... to be able to act serious and get on with the mundane working life... besides, its a life of debts to be living in this place... just imagine if you own a flat and car based on a normal working person's pay, how much do you need to return in order to own such things?

everything is calculated upon money... money money money... do you, for once, look up to the sky to enjoy the ever-changing scenery up there? we missed the days where the clouds are beautiful and grand... we missed the days where we can see the full moon smiling at us... its my own habit of looking at the sky whenever i am off to work and back home... makes me feel happy and for the moment, i forgot the sianness of going to work or the tireness from teaching lessons... we shld find something comforting to keep life going... =)

i just want to be a happy girl... *difficult* i am afraid tt people misinterpret my words and actions... i am afraid tt i would take donkey years to return my loan... i am afraid tt life becomes too boring to carry on... i am afraid tt i wun be able to do the things i wanna do before i die... i am afraid of living on like this till i die... maybe i shld try to be more brave to face these things... even if the sky collapse, i would take it as my blanket... being brave does not mean i cant cry k?

eXpressing~ Myself

2005-11-15T16:38:00.000+08:00

i remembered once daniel ever sent me sth very chim over sms... cant exactly recall how it is phrased but it is something like this... thru words is one way that we can communicate our feelings... however, words cannot describe our feelings completely... haha dunno why i was thinking over this sms these days... maybe i am not talking much to other ppl which led to me thinking abt stuffs again... my mouth can stop my brain from working... =p

this is really quite true... if u said the sentence "i am happy", it is difficult for the other party to understand this sentence... there are different types of happy and different degrees of happy... but the more u describe ur happiness, the more complex it gets... how can the other party comprehend ur feeling of being happy? he/she is not the one in ur shoes... at most they could try to imagine how they wld feel if they were in ur shoes... there's always some loss in communicating with one another?

haha i have no idea wat i am writing now...

p/s: hoshi just sent me a clip of song samples from nanase's new album, RUOK? =) its really nice... anyone going japan? ahhh...... YES! mutsumi is going back... heehee~ so happy! dont think it would appear in HMV sg... rem last time i also gotta get sylvia to buy from japan too... :s

wat is the last thing u wld do b4 u die?

2005-11-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

that day i happened to be walking aimlessly around kinokuniya just to kill time while waiting for someone... there was a row of books that caught my interest... with the title [1000 places to see before you die]... well, it was really a thick book with fabulous places inside there... whether those that are famous places of different countries and those that were even unheard of to me... describing how beautiful and wonderful it is to be there... i pondered over the title... hm... 1000 places to see... issit really possible to go to these 1000 places before you die? first of all, you gotta make sure you have plenty of money to go there rite? second, you gotta have the time to spend holidaying instead of slogging at work in singapore? seemed rather impossible for most of the ppl...

anyway, issit really important to have visit these places before you die? hm... for me, i guess the most important thing is that i would die HAPPILY... know the difference between children and adults? MoMents are important to children for they do not see the past nor look into the future... they are only concerned about the present... am i FULL now? can i play with my favourite TOY? do my parents LOVE me? once they are satisfied with the moment, they forget that they were once unhappy... like cute little kiren? he was crying terribly when i told him not to hit his mummy... but when i give him a sticker, he came happily to HUG me and SMILE... adults are so troubled because they think alot... they are affected by the past and they are curious about the future... something tt u have done might still be affecting your thinking now, and you might be wondering wat you gonna do tmr and coming months and years... just hope that i would be able to leave this world without worrying about my loved ones and not having any regrets... =) tats why sometimes when i cant think things through or when i am angry, i try to let it go... afterall, who knows when's gonna be your last moment? shld try to stay happy no matter wat rite?

Send a postcard to ur grandparents~

2005-11-07T16:39:00.000+08:00

last night, i saw a postcard on the table... it is an empty postcard, encouraging people to send postcards to their grandparents... it has a cute picture drawn by a child saying "i love grandma"... how nice it would be if the grandchildren nowadays will send such things to their grandparents... my paternal grandparents and maternal grandpa are no longer with us already... it reminded me that time when i attended my 7th uncle's wedding... my grandparents are no longer around then to preside over his wedding... he said during his speech, i will email ah ma (my grandmother) to tell her about tonight's wedding... everyone laughed but it seemed kinda sad to me hearing this...

if i have the chance to write a postcard to my paternal grandpa, i wanna tell him many things... first of all, i wanna tell him happily that i no longer quarrel and fight that much with my sis anymore... when we were young, we practically fight over EVERYTHING and my grandpa often had to pacify us... i remember when he passed away that night, i dreamt that he told us not to fight and quarrel... i wanna tell him i passed my PSLE, O level, A level and graduated from U already... i wanna tell him i am now a big girl already... i wanna tell him everytime i see people selling roasted chestnuts on the street, i always remember that he removed the shells for me even though he barely had any teeth left... everytime i see people peeling skin of the buns, i remembered he did the same thing too... everytime i see the knife scar on my finger, i remembered that i cut myself while trying to cut an apple for him... even though he left very early, i held memories of him still...

if i have the chance to write a postcard to my paternal grandma, i wanna tell her many things... i wanna tell her 7th uncle already married and has a daughter... i wanna tell her i already graduated from U and my sis is studying in U too... i wanna tell her that daddy is still smoking... i wished that she could stop him... i wanna tell her that chinese new year does not feel like chinese new year without her... everyone is not as close as before... they sold the old house and i really missed going there sometimes... 6th uncle already moved to china with his wife and i nvr see his daughter before... everything has changed...

if i have the chance to write a postcard to my maternal grandpa, i wanna tell him many things... i wanna tell him that actually we were preparing for a feast on your birthday... 2nd uncle already wanted to come down from KL to JB... 5th and 6th auntie planning to cook a whole lot of nice dishes... mummy asked me to draw a nice birthday card for you... but you left before your birthday... it was just too sudden for all of us... i sprained my leg during that period... i could not follow the group to the burial ceremony... but i wanna tell you grandma was very heartbroken... she could not eat well and cried alot... it was then i kinda understood that its emotionally less painful to die but you left your loved ones heartbroken... but now everyone is getting on well... hope you would bless grandma's health...

suddenly remembered this korean movie whereby there is a very naughty child from city whose grandma living in rurals cared alot about him... he stayed with her for a period and bullied her all the way... but eventually he was touched by his grandma's love and became more obedient... when he left his grandma's house, he prepared postcards of different messages "i am sick" "i miss you" (his grandma is illiterate) so that his grandma can send him messages when he goes back to city... a nice and touching movie...

Special Teacher's Day

2005-09-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

This year's teacher's day is somewhat special... the first time i spent it with a bunch of very very young children... the first present was a card from rhea... haha i think her mummy asked her to make and she stick a dozen of barbie stickers on the card... from this, i know that rhea loves barbie very much... den ryan gave me a present as well... it was a pair of doraemon and dorami... (in case u dunno, dorami is doraemon's sister...) *hen cute* so i stick it on top of my white board... and also a potpurri which i still have no idea where to put it... there was a small card and guess wat? ryan said to his mummy that he wanna write japanese for me? to other ppl, it might be just some lil boy's scribblings but i am very touched by his sincerity... yashu also gave me a lovely card with swans on it... and hwee en gave me a soft clay aeroplane... haha she insisted to her mummy tt her sister makes one for me... *thanks, hwee en* =) she is very cute and clever... quite mischievous though... she likes to swim on the table... heehee~ and one more present is probably from dear kieren... he is only one year old... tt day he grabbed my spectacles and it broke... his mum probably paiseh to see wat happened to my spectacles and bought chocolate for me... since its near teacher's day, can consider as teacher's day present ba... kieren is very good at associating things... when his mummy shows him a picture of medicine, he wld pretend to cough cuz he knew when he coughs, he needs to take medicine... when my spectacles fell onto the floor, his mummy and victoria's daddy were helping me to search for the screw... he also helped to search u know... just tt he has no idea wat we searching for... and he gave me a strand of white thread which happened to be on the floor... dunno whether to cry or laugh hoh? :s the following week, he remembered tt last wk he broke my spectacles... he pointed to my new spectacles and give me a questioning look? i smiled and said, "its fixed already... kieren dun worry k?" den he turned around to play again... super cute ritE? not forgetting iman... he wished me thrice i think... heehee this lil boy is so happy to wish me teacher's day... how unforgettable~ hope i get to spend the next teacher's day with them... =)

Confirmed! My first job...

2005-09-14T22:20:00.000+08:00

So as usual, i decided to give one year and three months of my life to this job following my intuition and bravely signed the contract... =p everything was getting fine i guess... i enjoyed the job thoroughly with all my cute children and nice colleagues... though it can get very stressed and tiring sometimes, especially during weekends... but my mum was not very happy with this job lor... from time to time, whenever she talks to me, she would suggest changing to a higher pay and normal working time job... dunno lar... i just wanna walk one step, look one step... =)

~ultimate blur queen~

2005-09-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

last night, i spent more den one hour trying to recall the username of my blog... its very frustrating cuz the more i tried to think about it, the more i could not remember... i tried every possible username that i ever used... haiz... but still cant log in... but i remember the password though... which is kinda stupid... at this point of time, i realised it is not enuff to just remember passwords... -_-" so i tried to enter the email address, hoping to recover my username... alas, i dont remember wat is the email address i entered for it... so i tried again, every possible email address... only to find out that i used a super ulu email address... and the server was down last night... =( luckily i managed to log in to my email account just now and finally retrieved my username... if not, you would not have seen this entry le... why am i so blur? :s

My First Job @ Shichida

2005-08-30T01:04:00.000+08:00

I have been wanting to talk abt my first job @ shichida... hahaha but it actually took me 3 months to start writing about it... my probation is going to be over soon... unless susie decides to fail me for the appraisal... hahaha i also dunno where to start saying? yaya should be the origin of the job?

as you all know, i am not a very active person... ever since the attachment, i have not been eagerly looking for a job... but for biyin ar, she even more ganchiong spider den me wan... den she saw this job ad which she thinks will suit me... so she emailed me about it... i read abt it and i feel tt its not bad... so i applied for it... i still rem tt time my manager and colleague in givaudan helped me alot with it... thanks again for the valuable advice and tips... my manager even offered to be my reference...

from the job ad, it looks quite ok... the job scope is definitely fun and the pay is really not bad... well, i have learnt tat you should not judge things from the surface... nevertheless, i guess there are always positive and negative aspeccts of every job... depending on wat you value...

they were quick to reply (compared to food companies) so i went for two interviews consecutively... each time i was made to wait for very long... its kinda sianz and made me felt tt the company has poor organisation skills... but i managed to pass everything and i was asked to decide whether to sign a contract with them... (to be continued)

Day two in HongKong

2005-08-30T01:02:00.000+08:00

Heehee din expect tt i will start to write blogs again? yaya... i am a lazy person... someone actually reminded me tt i only wrote till day one in hongkong... haha in fact, the trip was made in may... now its coming to september already... =p lemme transfer wat i have written on paper...

we woke up very early at 7.15 am and ate HK-style breakfast... because we have no idea where is nice, we just anyhow find a nearby 'restaurant' to eat... it was then i realised wat it meant to be said "eat like a king"... the breakfast was very filling... lemme recall... a breakfast set actually consist of a drink (tea, coffee, milk or hot lemon tea) with toasted bread (super thick slices) plus ham and scrambled egg or sunny side up, and a plate of macaroni... its ALOT for gals u know... four of us shared two breakfast sets and still feel FULL... after tat, we set off to the OCEAN PARK at 8... wat a kiasu bunch... =p geez, we reached the Queen's pier (where the bus stop is) earlier than expected... bus 629 only departs at 9.35 am... so we went "bura bura" (walking around aimlessly) instead... took a few pictures at the pier... haha reminded me of those HK drama... whenever the female lead is feeling sad... she would go there for a walk... just nice the male lead always appear at the same place... but they always nvr see each other because a stupid pillar or a wall blocking them... hehe~ we saw the Du Ling (some sort of olden chinese boat) tt we wanted to take but could not cuz of the lack of time... i guess its good tt we din... cuz Panda might vomit mar... :s Fish also lor... at the pier, we saw an uncle fishing with just some worms and a fishing line... kinda disgusting to see him cut up the long slimy worm into many pieces... haha but he looks quite pro... there were few fishes flipping and suffocating on the ground... after tt, we went back to the bus stop and it started drizzling i think... finally after a long journey, we reached the lowland entrance of Ocean Park... =)

we were very happy to reach Ocean Park and the weather still seemed rather ok... went to look at birds first i think... saw the flamingoes in the river and then walked down to a garden with swans and yuenyangs (chinese lovebirds)... den into a big big cage with the nice and cute lil birds... kinda resembles a mini Jurong Bird Park... subsequently, we went to the exciting rides le... four of us went to the water ride... erm supposedly very scary... and i tink its rather scary lar... cuz can only hold onto metal rod... plus plus i am very timid wan... hahaha but its small case for fish, panda and milk... a photo was snapped by the camera lar... but then everyone din look at the camera... all looked messy messy wan... haha after tt, milk even went to take another ride alone which looked damn giddy wan lor... the seat itself turns and the big wheel turns... actually i wanted to be a brave gal but in the end i backed out... haha

den there are lotsa outdoor escalators which are damn long... we took a photo on the escalator but its rather scary... cant imagine falling down lor... *heng i din* cant rem exactly wats next? i guess we went to the top of Ocean Park and at this time, the rain has become heavier... we managed to walk to the seal area to look at the seals... and took pics in front of the mascot... =) the seals all look lazy lazy and relax relax... at the souvenir shop, i bought a tshirt for my bro... actually i am very greedy wan... wanted to buy lotsa things... in the end dun wanna buy... cuz day two only mar... =p in the rainy weather, we continued to walk forward... there was a short toliet break at some eatery rite? den we headed for the ride which carried us to the tower top and it can turn to view the scenario of Ocean Park... (just like wat singapore has in sentosa!) i kinda like tt ride... simple and peaceful, especially well appreciated in rainy weather at tt time... den after tt, we went to some shark museum? to look at the sharks with some other tour group? if i nvr rem wrongly, they were wearing some yellow windbreaker or cap ar... so distinct from us... we din meant to go there wan... anyhow walked into it... -_-"

disaster befallen upon us after tt... the rain got heavier and heavier... guess wat? the eateries in Ocean Park are not FULLY sheltered... only a pathetic tent-like cover... poor tourists like us were stuck in the shelter... everyone had their umbrellas to shield from rain... it was painful at that moment to recall how lazy i was to bring umbrella and brought only my jacket... four of us standing close together, hoping to shield off the rain... how lucky in sg we nvr get such irritating rain? it nvr seemed to stop... luckily the rain gets lighter... den we took cable car down to lowland... it was very scary and steep... however, after reaching the lowland, the rain stopped?? wat the... we went to visit the boring GoldFish museum and look at the PANDAs @_@ in Ocean Park... but they slping ler... panda very lazy wan hoh? =p when we decided to go up to highland, it started drizzling again... we managed to try a few more rides... me n milk tried the multi turning wan... dizzy but not too scary... haha den viking is like sitting on swings... damn funny... the worst was i was coerced into trying the roller coaster... scared the hell outta me... yaya... yj asked me to close my eyes... so i did... which in fact even worse... cuz i din know when its gonna fall... i screamed till out of breathe and no sound came out... it was crazy and they wanna try again... lucky the queue was long... tts all for Ocean Park... i will update when i am more hardworking again... hahaha =p

Day one in HongKong

2005-05-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

Day one

It was drizzling and foggy… so much that we cannot see DisneyLand (under construction) from the HsingMa Bridge… there are so many tall buildings and signs… made me dizzy… :s after crossing all the windy roads, we finally arrived at shamrock hotel… *hurray* at the reception, milk spotted a cute guy… hahaha in fact, the guys in shamrock are quite cute… ^^ we went up to our rooms after settling the check-in… remembering the genting trip… me n fish shared one room while milk n panda (tts yingjing’s new nick) shared the other room… alamak, my room is quite smoky ler… despite that it is the non-smoking level… we quickly got out of hotel after dumping the luggages in our rooms… now its time for action… FREE n EASY (i doubt so) in Hongkong… =)

First, we stopped in front of the control office at Jordan MTR… deciding whether to get the octopus tix… must calculate to see if its worthwhile to get the tix… after deciding, we tried to tell the officer wat we wan… haha luckily he could still understand us, so we got our octopus tix and took MTR to Hongkong Island… day one is supposedly planned by me to tour around the central and western district… heehee~ found some information on the internet n four brave girls are going to walk around… at first we are confused cuz there are so many trams stops… where to take the tram to western market? As we walked, we saw the big big LV poster which Brenda wans panda to take a pic of… *great* panda took a snap and we moved on… finally spotted a tram moving… wondering if we shld get on it... I dun wanna end up at Kennedy town which is super far from our destination… :s after being directed by a kind lady, we successfully board the correct tram to western market… but there is not much to see actually… quite different from wat I tot… there is an interesting shop selling bus models… and milk bought a doraemon bus model… after western market, we walked down to the shops as directed on the map… actually I wanted to see the Snake King shop which make snake soup wan… unfortunately many shops are closed on Sunday… managed to walk till Central-Midland Escalator though… Had wanton noodles there…. *special & nice* instead of minced meat, the wantons are huge and filled with prawns…. (this is probably why milk fell sick in the later days) =p and tried the beancurd which is very very SMOOTH n DELICIOUS… follow up, we saw a bookstore and went to explore… but nothing much lar… haha since we got plenty of time, we took a bus 6x to go Stanley Market… wah, it went uphill and circling the hill… *damn scary* K the buildings are super tall lor… cant imagine such tall buildings on hilly area? *bus sick le* :s but thanks to the winding and never ending bus ride, we got the chance to see repulse bay and the sea from the hill? The scenery was very nice… when we reached Stanley Market, we did quick shopping cuz the market is closing soon… after that, clever us took the express bus back… the express bus goes by tunnels so its faster and less windy… (and of cuz more ex?) after getting back to the harbour, we took Star Ferry back to Kowloon… slow and nice… we only took it once… then… watch the SyMpHoNy of LiGhT!!! Its very spectacular because there is fireworks… =) very beautiful… but its kinda hazy and I dunno how to take pic wan… so end up the pics not tat nice… after that, we walked the Xing Guang Da Dao which is really nothing much… den walked from there all the way till temple street… did a bit of shopping here and there… Along the way, we tried Cross-Bridge Noodles… its quite delicious! =p shopping is very tiring… *finally* we reached our hotel and had a good night rest…

Discover Hongkong~~~~*

2005-05-07T21:16:00.000+08:00

This is the night before we are going to FLY to hongkong... of cuz, we dun have wings? we are taking a plane there... hahaha *stop lameness* at some point in time, i nearly thought the plan would be aborted due to two major incidents... once, milk decide to fly us kite and not go? yeah, i was damn pissed but lucky she decided to go again! twice, my mum objected due to some family problem... but in the end i was allowed to go anyway!

am i feeling excited? not quite... WHY? cuz i was dragged to bedok reservoir yesterday morning to jog for 5 km... and now my legs are aching like siaoz... hope tmr will get better lar... if not, how to walk walk in hongkong? i guess my excitement level will start to rise as i get to the airport tmr...

geez, my mum just called back to remind me to CALL HOME no matter wat... yaya, it was due to some incident donkey years ago....................... a little girl went to MELAKA trip when she was in primary FIVE... she was very excited and enjoyed herself thoroughly... the only thing is, this blur little girl never called back home... so she was kinda MISSING for three days before she went home and got scolded by her mum... *end of story*

i wonder how is my first day gonna be? hahahahaha me badly wanna take the mid level central escalator... it reminded me of the chungking express, where the shuai shuai Liang Chao Wei and Faye Wong took... (i think so, if i never remember wrongly) =) yeah, and i wanna take nice nice pics... hahaha just figured out how to use rvn's camera... nice as in got a feel when u see the pics... of cuz i wun have photographer standard lar... but just wanna take pics tt i like... ^^ and i promised mummy to climb the 150 steps to take pic of the BIG BIG buddha statue... haha she seemed quite happy with tt!! *my mother's day's gift* =p

now its 9.33 pm... i think i better go shower and get ready the luggage... wats the most important thing i must do? put the PASSPORT in... last time i went johor n batam, i FORGOT my passport lor... :s *blur blur de wo* i am kinda panic freak, if u know wat i mean... i am really scared of forgetting things... so i must double CHECK, triple CHECK to make sure everything is brought... =)

argh, i must STOP chatting if not i would not be able to escape offline... Help!! hElp!! heLp!! helP!!

Look into the mirror before u say anything!

2005-05-07T21:05:00.000+08:00

Last night, biyin sent me a link to some blog written by a NUS life science guy... i shall not disclose the link cuz i really dun wish to publicise his blog... the latest blog entry was complaining about how ugly girls from NUS science are... All i can conclude is that, this guy is really boliao n ungentleman... if he has such unusual high expectation, he might as well remain single cuz the pretty gals are not going to fall for such a jerk... he really criticise science gals till very bad... yaya, why i am so angry? cuz i am from science!!! who says there are no meinus in science? he really nvr been to S3 Level 6 right? (if you dunno where that is, it is the department of Food Science and Technology) and wats wrong with wearing tshirts n jeans to school? if he really wanna bio2 gals in spags, please take bus A1 to arts faculty then... and issit really necessary to dress up so much to go sch ler? *use ur brains* SCIENCE faculty ler... other than lectures, where do we go? LAB! wear till so nice den wear lab coat? wat for? somemore gonna stuck in lab for hours... as if there is any cute guys ard to see liddat... That stupid jerk better go look into the mirror before he start complaining abt science girls! *aggitated*

Yet another psychology test

2005-04-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

You are friendly and easygoing. People feel comfortable around you so it is not a surprise that many friends surround you. You have high self-esteem and will not let anyone get you down.

You're very careful and circumspect in all matters but you won't face any problems until they actually happen. Also you're a kind and sensitive person.

You think positively about the people around you and are never prejudiced. This means others see you as a kind and gentle person. They enjoy listening to what you have to say because they respect you.

You are logical, smart and inventive. Sometimes you are too cold and selfish.

--> is that true of me? hahahaha *taken from some ice cream survey from biyin* =p

to the extreme

2005-04-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i am too happy, i feel sad... just like today...

The Super IQ Test

2005-04-04T21:52:00.000+08:00

Cogn, your Super IQ score is 120

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

"moon on the water"

2005-03-18T12:50:00.000+08:00

kenneth just sent me the song... its my favourite song from the anime "beck"... come to think of it, its quite funny... maybe i shld just watch one more time...

moon on the water... reminds me of a chinese phrase "tai bai lao yue"... maybe describes me the best... always trying to lao yue, knowing tt the yue will nvr get caught in my net...

while washing the mountain of beakers, pots, bowls, chopsticks, spoons, i realised tt there is one character in "desparate housewifes" resembles part of me alot... i shall not reveal who she is... just keep on watching and if u know me very well, u'll realised tt "hey, xj is really liddat sometimes hoh..." =)

got to end here le... there is chicken evaluation at 2 and beef evaluation at 4... better drink lotsa water before i get high blood pressure, osteoporosis and watever...

cooking session (alone)

2005-03-17T11:56:00.000+08:00

my parents and lil bro went msia to visit my grandma... geez, left only me n my sis... and i guess she is probably eating out... so i actually wanna plan a cooking session... but anyway, its only me who is cooking, eating and washing dishes... *kinda wuliao* :(

in silence

2005-02-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

i jus realised something... when i laugh, i always laugh very loudly... but when i cry, i always cry in silence... there is actually very few times when i actually cried out loud... probably the time when my grandma passed away... other than tt, i dun quite rem... oh yeah, there's also once when i quarrelled with someone... dun really cry out loud cuz it dun sound nice... really... it feels weird...

when laughing out loud, the sound of happiness can spread to others... it feels good... but when crying out loud, seemed like spreading the sadness around... i still prefer to cry in silence... and my favourite place is my bed... always facing the wall, closing my eyes and allowing my sadness to flow away with the tears... unfortunately, i would wet my pillow, blanket and bedsheet... so ppl, u know where not to touch when u come to my room? hahaha and also ONE of my soft toys... the most famous "yuanyuan"... :) yuanyuan is my support...

*why am i toking abt this? hahaha just feel like writing it down... =)

ice cream

2005-02-23T08:24:00.000+08:00

i walked on the street, i saw all the children happily eating ice cream...

i am the only one without ice cream...

i could not do anything but hide under my bedsheets and cry... :'(

(untitled)

2005-02-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

last nite i was very tired... bcuz i went out walking for almost 2 hours before meeting his fren to get his stuffs... its was very fun though... i din know tampines is so that near to pasir ris... i mean, walkable distance from my hse... the canal at pasir ris does resemble tt of a river... provided u dun see the murkiness and rubbish in it... as the lights fall onto the surface and reflecting into our eyes, the wind slowly blows in the direction from pasir ris to tampines... its actually quite nice... even a fallen leaf on the water looks like a struggling turtle by the side of a canal... a beautiful or otherwise dumb misunderstanding... haha a coconut was found to be able to float in the canal... i hope it grows into a tree...

when i came home to realise that my laptop was in distress again... i was very sian, mostly cuz of my tiredness... when i called for the help, i was nearly falling aslp... of cuz it din help much with me in the daze state... watever, maybe i shld jus leave everything alone.

誰か

2005-02-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

誰かのお姫さまになりたかった

誰かに守ってくれるが欲しかった

いつか悲しいことがなくなっていくだろう

いつか昔々の幸せが感じられるだろう

教えてくれないの？

managing emotional pains

2005-02-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes, we do feel like we are at the bottom of the valley... we will have difficulty having to crawl out of it... even the most optimisitc person needs to find a way in order to wriggle out of the unhappiness... so wat u do?

most imptly, is to find a way to vent out the frustration... this is very impt... cuz we are just like a plastic bag... unhappiness is like water... if we try to fill ourselves up, one day, we might find ourselves bursting and exploding like water bombs...

some ppl like to vent it out on eating... but binge eating is definitely not the way out... so bad for health... so bad for size... later when become very very fat le den regret... jiu lai bu ji le... some ppl like to vent it out by going shopping... but end up buying so much unnecessary things... wasting money... even though it wld boost the economy... or you can try my method? hahaha i like to cry alot... but but... better make sure tt u can feel better after crying... make sure tt u can smile and laugh happier after crying... if not, this crying wld not be effective and u wld only waste ur tears... like me?

now ar... i washed out the med with my tears... my left eye is much redder and swollen and my right eye is as red and as swollen as my left eye... balance liaoz lor... hahaha

i need better ventilation

2005-02-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

over the past two months, my skin has become more oily and dirty than it used to be... i believed its becuz of the poor ventilation at my workplace... which my colleagues also agreed... just imagine if i use a slightly stronger flavour, and my lab gotta smell of chicken for days... yeah, you dun have to walk into the lab to know wat i am doing? just stand at the doorway... the worst experience is, you stand at the corridor of the application labs and you realised tat the beef flavour is so strong tat you cant smell the sweet smelling "sweet goods lab"... ppl tell me my lab is smelly but i dont think so? cuz i am so so used to tat smell... its nth to me, seriously... i have been trained to smell very disgusting smell le... but there's some i cant really stand... like "beef rare", "boiled chicken", "beef livery"... and anything tat u smell n would suggest something bloody...

but i am digressing again??? yaya, abt my poor skin... occassional minor breakouts are happening to my face... :| so i gotta be a more hardworking person to wash my face in the morning and at night... no choice? i dun wan soya sauce powder or ground black pepper to stick on my face and irritate my skin... so bad... :( my skin really dun feel nice le... oh, and guess wat happened to my arms? i am having rashes on my arms... dunno whether issit taking in too much msg or wat? i wun be able to find out wat is causing the skin irritation cuz i am doing so many flavour blends everyday...

btw, i went hospital today and found that those growing on my right foot are not becuz of viral infection... its just corns... -_-" must be becuz of my shoes... haiz... and the rashes on my back... keratosis pilaris... tats wat i have... not easy to heal plus i am so lazy... suan le? i can live with it... at least its nth harmful to health... :) ok, gotta end here...

= tired =

2005-01-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

i feel very tired these days... energyless... last nite i slpt quite early... and woke up rather late today... but i slpt the whole afternoon after breakfast... still having slight headache and dizziness... forced by my mum to drink some american ginseng powder... *yucks* i accidentally got a scratch on my arm... bumped my toes into the table leg... and i dunno wat happened to my left hand... the vein is swollen and feels painful... wat a silly girl? oh, and i got bitten by some unknown insect... very itchy and becoming more n more swollen... >_<

hm... its been 190 days le... feels so long... as though it is going to go on just like this... kinda reminded me of "hoshi no koe"...

disappointed

2005-01-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

tired n weary.

sad.

kokorobosoi.

Communication breakdown

2005-01-15T20:02:00.001+08:00

This sem, all of us started attachment but it dun seemed to be going well for all of us... the worst news came from alvin a few days ago... he enquired at the Swiss Embassy in sg whether he needs a work permit and they replied no need... however, he was asked to leave switzerland immediately (i.e. asap) cuz he does not have a work permit... nestle switzerland cant do anything and he booked a tic to be coming back soon... wat a disruption... if i were alvin, i wld be damn sian to work in nestle sg le... haiz, if the swiss nestle is interested in taking in an attachment student, shldnt they check carefully and inform the student beforehand? a supposedly fruitful and enjoyable trip turned out to be liddat... i jus think tat the sch and company are not really working hand in hand to help the students... *communication breakdown* yuxiang is packing beancurd in unicurd... cuz they are shorthanded... i really wonder wat he can write in his attachment report... indeed, we are there to work... but knowing tat we are there for attachment, they should at least make sure we are learning something? if we are doing mundane job, how to write report? at least i am better lar... just tat the pay for dec came so damn late...

:: dunno-how-to-describe mood::

2005-01-03T18:52:00.000+08:00

geez, these few days my mood is like roller coaster again... suddenly very happy then suddenly very sad... haiz... especially after talking to sugi the whole day, seeing sugi so happily going btm to meet rain... *envious* i can only hug yuanyuan tightly at night and tell yuanyuan my feelings... :(

tsunami in asia

2004-12-30T16:25:00.001+08:00

i was not aware of the news till i heard ppl discussing abt it... work has been very busy and tiring and i haven not read newspapers for days... the tragedy came suddenly and hard on the countries around sg... it has been very depressing to be reading abt the increase in death toll over the days... esp when peiyi just told me abt a gal who was infected with bird flu in vietnam and death toll has arisen one hundred thousands... heart breaking to see children losing their mums, mums searching vainly for their children... husbands who found their children but lost their wives...

even though many countries are sending aids and financial assistances to the victims, the condition dun seemed to be getting well... just read the news together with sarah... indonesia is receiving more and more aids but its not helping... cuz there is not enough volunteers to help out over there... various ways of donating money and food have been set up... through the banks, travel agencies, breadtalk, ntuc, private organisations, etc, sg ppl are able to donate the necessities to be sent to the affected areas... but... there is not enough ppl to help out to sort the donations... right now, i dun have the details but sarah said the organisations are really in need of volunteers to help sort out the items... it will be during weekends... so ppl who are working or studying can help out... i will post the information on my blog... any interested ppl in sg can go and help out too!

by the way, i happened to look at channelnewasia's forum... and there seemed to be some arguments over how lil sg govt has done... and a meaningless comment on how ashame tat person was, being a sporean... personally, i think its quite dumb... wats the pt of saying tt... i believe they are doing something abt it... it is always sg's policy to help our neighbours when they are in need... but the ppl themselves are also doing their parts? why is tat person talking and complaining instead of helping out... we are fighting against time isnt it?

given the terrible living conditions in those affected areas, epidemics are expected to break out... more medical supplies are required... i just hope those organisations collecting money do really contribute 100% to the reliefs... which is something we nvr know of? haiz... at least they should give the victims clean water u know? clean portable water? such floodings are likely to result in water-borne diseases...

not forgetting the most impt thing is to pray for the ppl... pray hard! pray tat the loved ones be found... pray tat the deceased be at peace... pray tat the living find courage to live on...

= fake wings =

2004-12-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

you gave me wings

for once, i thought i was really flying high

soaring in the air

till my wings disappeared

i fell, from the sky

to the bottomless pit

from brightness

to total neverending darkness

only then did i ever realised

what was given

nothing but fake wings

# written after listening to the song "fake wings" by yuki kajiura

attachment @ givaudan

2004-12-06T19:03:00.000+08:00

working hrs : 830 - 530

lunch : 1200 - 100

trying to get used working in the lab... things are supposedly going fine...

sad n disappointed

2004-12-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

these few days dun have chance to chat online.. i tried to call him twice..

1. he was so tired n tot tat he dreamt tat i called?

2. i wished i could talk longer but i think either most of the time i am talking or its silence all the way.

just now, my stomachache was hurting so much tat i was practically lying on the bed... unable to move... and i had my dinner very late... no appetite... and i find myself in very low spirits... physically sick + emotionally down = very very very very bad mood... i really hope i can find someone to share my unhappiness... but there is really no one... really no one.

the armour

2004-11-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

suddenly tot of chihiro onitsuka's "armour"... its a very nice song... in order not to get hurt, it is necessary to put up an armour to protect urself... indeed, an armour can save u from being getting hurt... but it is also the armour that forms a barrier between u and other ppl... issit really alright to be alone? issit really alright not to say anything anymore? if u nvr open up to other ppl, it is hard to gain acceptance isnt it? maybe another 'honda tohru' will come and save u... if not, r u going to be another 'kisa'? whenever there is someone to hurt u, there is bound to be another who is there for u... when u begin to understand this, maybe u will feel better... i am, too, looking for 'honda tohru'...

:: my after tots of watching fruit basket (episode with kisa) ::

- notice -

2004-11-27T01:52:00.000+08:00

know wat? i was scolded for poking into other ppl's business. fine. from now on, i am not going to say or do anything anymore. i shall mind my own business. and NOBODY shall have a say in watever i do.

- uncertainty -

2004-11-26T13:33:00.000+08:00

i am unsure where i wanna go... many a times i am standing at the cross path... there are things to be forgotten but not yet forgotten... there are things to be remembered but i cant remember anything... i am very good at making myself miserable i know...

:: after a nap ::

2004-11-25T20:44:00.000+08:00

after a nap... after dinnering... after watching tv... i came online again... actually i have nth to do online... just wanna check if he's online... but too bad he is not... ya lor, he finished his exams le... must be playing happily so never come online...

fst 3104 - the paper was really a goner... the easy part set by prof zhou, i nvr study in detail... i should say the answers i gave were sucky... one look also can see i am trying to bullshit my way through... the part by prof leong... nvr mind, i am sure nobody knows how to do... as usual, her questions are always beyond comprehension... the part by doc nazlin? she's crazy i tell you... dunno how to teach and still set the paper so hard? tell me how to finish 25 mcqs in 30 mins? somemore the questions were damn hard... need to think alot abt 'not true' 'true' 'false'... some of the questions were nvr mentioned a single bit in the lectures... the structure questions... by time i started doing... my mind was totally confused and blurred... wat's the difference btw psychological and physiological factors? dun rem... just wrote wat comes to my mind...

fst 3101 - received an email from dr huang saying that he changed questions last min cuz he was informed that there was leakage of exam questions... are u sure? anyway the original paper was nth easier than the paper tat i sat for... the only exam when i wrote nicely for the answers... cuz i dunno wat to write and there's so much time to write nicely... maybe have tong qing fen ar... hahaha

fst 3102 - this is not hard but i have no time to finish? nobody attempted the question set by prof ho to discuss transgenic plants... haha seems more like a life science question den food science question... did two from dr ngiam and two from prof barlow... relatively ok but half way thru i was kinda brain dead... missed out a lot of points which i could discuss for a 25 mk question... so... expecting a mediocre grade...

= the above is a short discussion =

lets await the killer paper on monday...

my last exam in uni

2004-11-25T17:54:00.000+08:00

its bad, very bad... i am still sick... all thanks to the rainy weather and the wind that always follow me wherever i go... still have one remaining paper and i know its a killer paper... haha really make ppl no mood to study...

i just realised today that my menses is late... by 3 or 4 days le... maybe i am just too stressed that it dun wanna come... good! i hope it leaves me alone till my engin paper is over lor... if not, i will die of cramps again... yaya, i 'die' every month wan...

went to ntuc just now... to check the japanese curry there... so limited... dun have my favourite brand... but i think its ok to try other brands too... should not be that bad... cuz i am cooking dinner at daniel's hse on sun... *stressed* cook for six ppl ler... its no easy task... dun play2...

tampines mall is flooded with ppl... so irritating... i dun like to shop when there's so many ppl... and ntuc is flooded with chocolates... all decorated for the festive season? argh, i cant control my chocolate craving... i will get 'after eight' for xmas... hahaha i love 'after eight' even though some ppl dun like the taste... chocolate + mint = subarashii... so many chocolates... i feel like eating toberone these days... dun tell me about the 4% insect parts in chocolate k? i will still eat chocolate... somemore eat insects will have extra proteins... heehee~

i can feel xmas coming to tampines... suddenly all the decorations and chocolates... why on earth am i still having exams and torturing myself? *dun understand* hm... wat will all of you be doing on xmas? i haven tot of wat to do yet... if nobody is going to accompany me (most likely so), i think i will still go out on my own... haha go walk walk alone... anyway, i think i can give xmas gifts after xmas... since everyone is coming back to singapore late... hahaha everyone = qianqi + huiling + raven (?)

i wanna go nap le... cant type much... my finger injuried... still hurt... :s